When I found Tools to Life I was looking for something to help me make the changes I knew that I needed to make in my life. I lost my husband to cancer on March 30th of last year and I have had quite a few adjustments to make. I have gone from US to ME and I have to figure out just who I am and what shape I want my life to take right now. I am telling myself that this doesn’t have to be a bad kind of thing… this new shape for my life. I have the chance to make some positive changes in my life. I have the chance to make my life into something new and exciting. Surely this is better than moping around and saying “oh poor me!” Yes I DO miss my husband every day… some days more than others of course… but I am not letting that make me all sad and weepy all day long. I don’t think he would have wanted me to do that.

I was trying to work my way through just how I should make these changes and just what changes I really needed to make and decided that I really needed some help. I did what I usually do when I want help or advice on things… I went into Google and looked for what I wanted. I found several sites that offered help but none really suited me until I found this one. Right away I knew that this was what I needed to kick me in the pants and get me going and it has been. One of the things that I always put on my grateful list is “I am so grateful for Tools to Life.” I have been much happier since I found Tools and I haven’t had much time to sit around feeling sorry for myself. I know I have a lot more work to do but I feel that I am on my way.

I think that my first adventure into the idea that thoughts shape my life was the books written by Seth through Jane Roberts. I found these books in 1983 and found a lot of interesting information in them. Not long after than I joined "Science of Mind" which is all about using the mind to make changes through affirmations. The study group I joined in Ogden was very helpful and interesting and I was really excited by the whole thing. Then I move up here to Northern Idaho and the study group I found here wasn't nearly as helpful. When the leader left to go to Montana, things changed so much that I no longer wanted to be a part of the group.

I have read many many self help books and all of them have good ideas. I will start out working on these ideas and doing quite well and then suddenly one day I realize that at some point I have just stopped. It seems to start out by me saying "well I don't have time to do all that today... I will do it tomorrow" and you know what happens then! One "I'll catch up tomorrow!" leads to another and another until finally I am not doing anything at all. Also there are all of those negative voices inside of me that don't want me to change. They tell me that I can't change, I am too old too change, and the things that I want are just not going to happen.  It gets a bit discouraging to find that once more I have failed to change all that much.

So much of what Tools to Life is talking about isn't at all new to me. I read a journal entry this morning that I made in about 2002 I think. I am talking about goals and making affirmations and all that kind of stuff. It all sounded so familiar. I think the difference in this program is that I am not doing it alone. It makes a difference to log into Tools every day and hear and see new things, read the material and do the exercises. The check list has been my anchor and has kept me on track. I have support groups to help if I need it and I can communicate with other people who are doing the same program I am. I am really thinking I am going to make those changes this time.