I am a 42 year old "separated/ living together" woman trying to figure out how I got where I am. He lives in the basement. We hardly talk. He's here for the kid's sake. Do they know? They are 10 (son) and 5 (twin daughters). Son must know. I am a Flight Attendant and fly Fri-Sun....so I miss those endless weekends. So, now I've met a pilot....it's been 4 months. He's married: not in a good relationship but afraid to leave. He says he loves me. ? We fly together and live our fantasy life in Europe...no dirty laundry, dishes, bills, etc. He and wife separated recently for a day and I thought I was going to vomit...obviously I'm not ready for that! Do I love him? I love being with him...he's the most passionate person I've ever been with. He is my first in 14 years....never cheated on my husband. Too soon to know if I love this man....puppy love...I feel like I'm in high school. It's fun.
I know I should take this time to figure out who I am on my own before I jump back into a relationship...but, darn it, I have desires and needs. I don't like being alone. It's no fun alone. So I'm here to make sure I'm on the right path.....maybe I don't want to get divorced. Maybe I don't want to be with E. Maybe I do.