Reckless. I was overweight as a kid, and got made fun of a lot. I think this caused some early depression. I tried to use comedy to fend these people off. Then I discovered drugs when I was a freshman in highschool. I started on the hard stuff, and worked my way down to the lighter stuff. I developed my alcoholism when I was a sophmore, and it only got worse and worse every year. I wasnt interested in anything but getting fucked up, until I got to college. Then it was about getting fucked up and having a lot of sex. But moving out of my parents house to a different town made me feel a sense of responsibility, and I did well in college. I was in several relationships in college all of which were ruined because of my drinking. I saw how this hurt so many people, but I didnt care. After graduating college. I moved home to look for a job and take care of my mom who was recovering from breast cancer surgery. My drinking increased, I moved in with my girlfriend, which increased the drinking more. I decided to quit everything and start over. I quit my job, moved back in with my parents, and broke up with my girlfriend. I went to Rehab for a month. I learned a lot about myself while ther. But drank right when I got out of there. I have held down my current job since then, but continue to battle alcohol and developed a bad anxiety problem. I would really like to start a family and be succeful at my job, or find a job where i Will be successful. I am not able to have a relationship unless I gain control of my alcohol, and with out a girlfriend I cant have a family.

I am happy, I have never been in better shape. My relationship is moving further than any other relationship I have had in the past. Ii am deeply in love. I enjoy my job, and am doing well. I finally have control of my life. My relationship with my friends and family are strong, and I am finding people are coming to me for advice, rather than me going to them. My attitute is positive and it rubs off on everyone. I am no longer living in the past. I have made amends with certain things that were holding me back before, and just looking forward. I see good things! I hardly drink anymore, and I no longer have to take my anxiety medication, because I have had no problems. I have a bright future.

Tue, Mar 03 02:11 PM

hal26 posted new blog entry.