Mother, wife married for 17-years, an abusive relationship.  My son became ill and he became suicidal, as I worked full time and tried to help him, maintain a horrid marriage, I had no idea I was about to have a huge breakdown that would alter my life.  One day I found my son in a horrible state.  I do not remember much after that (that was three years ago).  Since then I became suicidal and wanted to die.. which made leaving my ex no longer terrifiying.   So I did, which was the beginning of change.  I secured a new job which I loved. My ex was somehow very sorry for his behavior and vowed to take care of our son and help him get well mentally and physically (he has done both).  We somehow made up and are great friends now.  Last year (unknowingly) was pregnant (I was in my late 30's and did not think I could get pregnant) but I will admit I did feel like I was pregnant and lost a baby.  They decided to not give me a dnc.. because the doctor on call was not the doctor (my new boyfriend would allow to do the surgery, so they gave me the option of not having a dnc). My boyfriend is a doctor.  The hcg levels came back high after a couple of weeks so they assumed I had not completely miscarried, they gave me a pill that would contract my uterous, which resulting in the lost of the twin, that was still in my uterous and somehow did not show up on the ultrasound.  I have financial and depression difficulties.  I am rushing thru this part, maybe I shouldn't but I am assuming I can come back/revisit and clean up my story.