Hi! And welcome to the world of me, me, me. My name is Mike. And boy oh boy, do I come here with a colorful past and present. My future is just that... the future. The sometimes dreaded unknown. Will I be better or worse off in the future? Only time will tell. And only I can use that time to excel at creating a better life for myself, right? Right.
I'm a former radio personality of 15+ years that abruptly stopped that career field in 2005. I had my reasons. Since then, I've held a few blue-collar type positions until I landed doing what I do now...
... servicing and maintaining portable restrooms for a company called "Honey Bucket".
No, I'm not kidding.
I'm shooting for losing 67 pounds by January 1st of 2012. With that, I have plans to diet and exercise while eating better and cutting back on my drinking.
Also, I have a goal of paying off HALF of my new vehicle loan by January 1st of 2012.
Hopefully (sometime this year) I'll obtain love, respect and companionship with a female that gets me.
A friend and co-worker of mine recommended it. He felt it would be a good source for me to assist in working on myself. As well as drag me away from Facebook and Netflix.
You are offered your dream job. What job is it?:
Hosting a morning radio show in New York City. I've never lived there and I would love the opportunity. Plus, I long to return to radio and New York City would be the crème de la crème.
My favorite wild animal is:
I have always liked koala bears.
Why (describe as much as possible):
They appear as soft, sweet and cuddly (I just lost "man" points for saying that) but have some very sharp and long nails which would seem to tear the hell out of anything should you piss the Koala bear off.
The koala is broadly similar in appearance to the wombat (its closest living relative), but has a thicker coat, much larger ears, and longer limbs.
The koala has large, sharp claws to assist with climbing tree trunks. Weight varies from about 31 lbs. for a large southern male, to about 11 lbs for a small northern female.
The koala's five fingers include two opposable thumbs, providing better gripping ability. The first two fingers are positioned in apposition on the front paws, and the first three fingers for the hind paws.
The koala is one of the few mammals (other than primates) that has fingerprints. Koala fingerprints are similar to human fingerprints; even with an electron microscope, it can be quite difficult to distinguish between the two.
The koala lives almost entirely on eucalyptus leaves. This is likely to be an evolutionary adaptation that takes advantage of an otherwise unfilled ecological niche, since eucalyptus leaves are low in protein, high in indigestible substances, and contain phenolic and terpene compounds that are toxic to most species.
Like wombats and sloths, the koala has a very low metabolic rate for a mammal and rests motionless for about 16 to 18 hours a day, sleeping most of that time.
Koalas can be aggressive towards each other, throwing a foreleg around their opponent and biting, though most aggressive behavior is brief squabbles.
Handling koalas may cause them stress, and the issue of aggression and stress from handling is a political issue in Australia.
My favorite domestic animal is (if you choose dog be specific with breed etc):
I'm a cat guy. Although I do enjoy smaller breeds of dogs like Shih Tzus, Terriers and Pugs.
Small animals are easier to care for and look after. Especially when you're a single guy living in a one bedroom apartment and no yard for a larger animal to really run around and play in. As it stands, I have no pets, anyway. My landlord doesn't allow them.
A famous Chef will prepare anything you want. What do you order:
I would want the Chef to prepare a signature dish or entire seven course meal. Something that I've never had before and surprise me with it. This is NOT a cop-out on answering this question.
I come from eating at your standard places like most average Americans. I read from the same menu as most anyone else. Olive Garden, Ruby Tuesday, Lone Star Steakhouse, Denny's, Red Lobster, Sizzler, Hooter's, Carl's Jr., McDonalds, Wendy's, Del Taco, Taco Bell, Burger King, Subway, etc.
What the hell do I know about what to order from a professional culinary Chef? Just make something and "WOW" me. I'm sure it will because I'm a total rube when it comes to fine dining food.
Five people either dead or alive you would have at your fantasy dinner party::
#1: Nick Drake - troubled folk singer/songwriter. Died before his time.
#2: Nick "Danger" Baker - deceased close friend of mine.
#3: Matt Parker & Trey Stone - creators of "South Park".
#4: Joel & Ethan Coen - filmmakers.
#5: Sarah McLachlan - singer/songwriter.
#1: Because I think he was a quiet genius.
#2: Because I miss him dearly.
#3: Because I love their work and "South Park" is an all-time favorite to make me laugh and bring me up when I'm feeling down.
#4: Because their work is fantastic and I'd want to learn from some master film craftsmen like these two.
#5: Because I've loved her music for a very long time and I have the BIGGEST crush on her.
If a pilot would fly you anywhere you want, you would go to:
Easter Island (Or, as it's known by it's Polynesian name "Rapa Nui").
My perfect slice of pizza is:
Cheese, pepperoni, ham, pineapple and mushrooms.
You are at a bar. You order this drink:
Screwdriver! Or whatever local micro-brew looks good.
You are at a coffee shop. What coffee or tea do you order:
EASY! I always order the Venti Americano with extra room for cream at Starbucks. If you don't know what an Americano is, don't worry. Neither did I until a few years ago.
All it is is boiling hot water with shots of espresso poured in. TA-DA. Americano.
If a genie could grant you three wishes they would be (separate by commas):
Finding true love, 10 million dollars for everyone including myself, and a slightly larger penis.
You are going on a long road trip and you can only bring three CD's. Which ones do you bring
(separate by commas):
The Postal Service "Give Up", The Allman Brothers Band "A Decade Of Hits: 1969 - 1979", The Smashing Pumpkins "Siamese Dream".
If I could do anything for my neighborhood today, it would be:
Pay off their debt so they can buy a house and start a family.
A sunset I remember:
The summer of 2005 over the Pacific Ocean while I was scuba diving off the coast of Nogales, Sonora, Mexico.
Any character I could be from a movie, TV show or book would be:
Neo from "The Matrix"
How awesome would it be to be human with the ability to be plugged into a giant computer system full of guns, bullets, car chases, hot chics in leather and latex AND be a god? HELLO?!