Lost my mind there for a minute...
Mon, Jun 25 12:00 AM
It started Thursday. Usually Thursday and Friday are good Tools day because work structures my week and I have integrated doing tools into my day. It also (usually) keeps me on track with my little daily goals of getting good nutrients, drinking my water, and maintaining my calorie goal (well mostly - at least better than the weekends). This past Thursday went so wrong and only today am I getting back on track. Thursday I met with my boss over THE NUMBERS of my team which was just hair raising. The meeting went okay, but my angst as well as complaints from other coordinators about all the horrible things that were happening were wearing on me and my staff were freaking and worried about layoffs and Then several issues arose at work and a friend was feeling pert near suicidal and Then I make a move at work that blows up in my face and I am perceived to have melted down (we are on Friday afternoon by now) and my calorie count goes out the window and I have not drank water and Then my hubby finds out "something" (which still hasn't been resolved) has interfered with his unemployment check and he is having trouble getting interviews for a new job and is getting dejected and money is now very tight and my son came back from camp with a "bad report" and the future is so uncertain and and and! Every morning as soon as "I am having a great day!" left my lips the challenges began and I did not think I was going to get out of it! I checked my attitude and used all the tools I could remember and maybe it helped me get through it but it was still A BAD TIME for me trying to juggle concerns with self pity.
I sat down with God last night and we discussed my rebooting myself as this week starts. I had been talking to Him before about all my problems and how I needed Him to fix things right now and what kind of contract could we work out? But last night He patiently explained that we don't have a contractual relationship. Let's get back to the business of building up my tools and moving forward, or accepting what I could not change and relying on Him for my needs.
Today started off with problems too. But I didn't. And today I am taking the time to start this week off right and reboot myself from last week. Tools is not going to stop me from having rough patches, only on how I cope with them. Coach is not a phone call away to pep talk me through but I have other resources. Today, I drink my water and work on my checklists. Today, I am having a great day!