Hmmmm (Jae rubs chin - in contemplation) should I reach in one direction to the eloquence of the Wordsmith? Or over to Rexo where I might find an analogy to today's message in my comfort foods? - Would I use a word like Jellyfish or Prickly Pear...?
Actually - right now - the accuracy with which Coach Steele hit me in the head with today's message - it might be more like a bed of nails...
Listen, it's all about Faith - and this is going to be painful to admit (and I am so serious - no joke - just to write the sentence it's like dealing with - ah man...) I have no faith in me...no joke...
It's broken - how? Don't know...
When? Don't know...
Coach is right - no one but me can get it back - and today even before I was able to sign in and start my tools I was on the phone with my best friend - and we talked at length about it...and there is nothing she can do for me...
How do you break a cycle like this...see on the outside I just fine...like a regular 'Joe'...sort of like a functioning alcoholic...(but it's not like you could check my drinks at work and find laced with failure...ya know)...
If you reach out to someone at work - that would take faith - and well - Um guys/gals?...if I don't trust what I'm telling myself - how could I trust to reach out to someone else?
See there are those that are in this program that are dealing with this - and yet they have set their blog to private - so you can't get but a glimpse of things...
I'm taking a huge jump here and laying it on the line - I don't want you to think I'm just using the blog to write about silly things...
(au contraire - I do write about serious stuff - and as a side note Kurt Elberling Sr. the man who came up with SpagehtiOs, passed away today at the age of 77...)
Enough said - I really don't know how to fix it...I wonder if it's broke for ever...
comments
It's NOT broken-don't fix it.
Hey Monk,
I remember you! If it's not broken don't fix it! If you lack faith in your self it's because you say so. You can say something else. Doing what you say you will is called integrity. Being in integrity is the most powerful thing a person can Be. Just take a second to look inside and see what's really true for you at the moment. Then choose what you really want to do and do it. If you don't really want to. then don't do it. Your words are very powerful....your subconscious hears everything. Tell it the good stuff....like what an honest and grateful person you are, just being on the planet! Faith takes a little risk. You reach out like a child to find someone fun to play with. You can convince me to play, if you really want to. The whole world is reaching out, just like you are. We love to see ourselves reflected everywhere. You know your own magnificence.....just give us a little taste and we will be eating you up! (In a good way.) Take a chance. You might be suprised! You deserve it and so do we.
-Namaste
hmm
As always, an interesting post. How does one develop faith in oneself if it's not there already? Sortof like a Moibus loop, where the beginning is not seen - nor the ending - where do you start?
It reminds me of the arguments for and against the existence of God - if he does exist, then all is somewhat explainable (even if you eventually descend to simplistic ideas) - but only if you have faith in the explanation. If you don't, then you are left with the endlessly repeating loops of, so what was here before the big bang...another big bang that collapsed....but before that....why, another big bang....huh?
I am reminded of the Winter Warlock in Santa Claus is Coming to Town. (I always prefer to quote the classics) He asks Kris Kringle how he can possibly change from being an evil warlock to a kinder, gentler warlock, as he has no idea how. Kris sings the extremely catchy "Put one foot in front of the other" song:
"Put one foot in front of the other,
And soon you'll be walking cross the floor.
Put one foot in front of the other,
and soon you'll be walking out the door!"
Or, if you prefer a more literary allusion,
Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Pretend to be brave enough to reach out and share. It will come to you.
Best wishes.(Oh and incidentally, I was a shy child. I have remade myself into a perfect pest.)