Beknec:

Dating

Why does your ex not coming back make you feel so sad?  Do you still have your heart set on him or do you grieve any relationship with another man? 

When you get thrust into singlehoodness, it can be really hard to even meet eligible people, try doing simple things differently.  Thursday nights can be a great time to go do your grocery shopping as there seems to be more blokes shopping on those nights.

Jogging or walking, or reading a book in the park on Saturday afternoons is especially good if you are looking for a guy whose kids don't live with him.

Think about the things you have always wanted to learn and go explore them and have fun and don't worry about the absence of guys.  The moment you start to ignore them they will be coming out of the woodwork.

autumn mist:

SOCIALIZE MORE... THROUGH GROUPS AND/OR CLUBS

Oh, you poor darling.  Don't despair, M'Mom.  Be motivated... the person that you are.  Come and let's have a chat.

Try joining as much social groups, clubs, organizations, etc. (but try avoiding Singles Club... for a lot of risky reasons).  Look around through the Yellow/White pages or ads section in your local newspaper.  There should be Tennis, Squash, Badminton, Swimming, Bowling club, (if you're into sports).  You could join mind games groups such as Scrabble, Chess, Bridge, Book Club, etc.  Also there are some charitable/humanitarian organizations holding functions to either raise maney for the cause and/or just to have once a week/month for plain social gatherings (for people with physical or mental disability, cancer-stricken, aged people, etc.).  There are also support groups for other causes:   preservation of wildlife and other related environmental issues.  To add, there is the Bushwalking, Birdwatching, Fishing and other nature/outdoor clubs.  You could also consider joining Arts and Crafts clubs (or enroll in one).  Or be a volunteer on other worthwhile activities.  I h ave a friend who volunteers regularly making tea and helping out the Red Cross blood donors.

I hope this opens up the door for you to countless other means to be able to socialize (if the above doesn't cater to your liking).  I bet you, a lot of single people are seeking out companionship and end up in these places to occupy their time.... and meet people in the same situation as yours.

So, don't get disgruntled.  You don't have to seek for companionship.  If you go out often and/or join different groups (of your choice), you would eventually come across someone who is also needing to fill up his empty life.

Oh, and try to avoid watching mushy movies when your self-esteem is low.  It often gets me, too.  To the extent of taking the sentimental mood until the next day.  Hey, it's not the end of the day, cheeer up and get out.  Alright, the most important thing is let your positive thoughts prevail.  Self-pity attracts more self-pity.  Perk up and have a great weekend!

Cheers,

Autumn Mist

Sending you positive thoughts, lots of hugs and love, sunshine and bubbles!

Wordbird:

Well it's a Saturday night and I ain't got...

LOL. That is so true! and it's always on a day I feel like i shouldn't go out of the house I'm so not-great. Then, there they are!

I think sadness and some time to grieve and recognize loss is a-okay. And sometimes...lonliness, like pain and anger and other feelings...is a signal we are ready to do something different.

Or...almost ready! 

I can so totally see you dating and having a lot of fun, when you are ready to do that. I agree, an ex is an ex for a reason. Try not to give him anymore of your time. And yet, divorce IS sad.

You will find a balance, I know.  

eviet:

sending a hug

Hey m'm-hope you're doing better tonight.  I know it's hard meeting people after 40 when you're single, but it is still possible.  i haven't done well with the whole dating scene, so I'm just trying to do well with me and with learning to be a positive, whole woman, so in this way, whenever it may happen, I can attract someone who is positive and whole.  In the meanwhile, thank God for another day (saying that grateful list a lot on some days helps tremendously).  Everyone gets to that place in life where they wish some things had gone differently, but they didn't and here we are!  At least we are here, thankfully!  i hope you start watching happier and better things--Hollywood with all its phoniness can get us down if we let it; but no matter what, you have a great life and it will only get better if you keep moving forward.

A hug to you!

Eviet