To all my friends here, and we are all friends taking this course together. We are all in different places on this course but we are all on the same page in our efforts to discover ourselves, improve ourselves, and be the best we can be.
Change can be subtle. On this course, there have been obvious changes and I have talked about most of them. But the ones that bubble up inside, perculate down deep, and move the hidden still water of your soul, they happen of a level that sometimes escapes your awareness. Things you don't do any more, never even realized you did them until some else passes comment. Long term struggles that seem endless, when they end, you sometimes don't comprehend they have gone at first.
So I want to share the most profound change for me on this course, a change that occured without me noticing until I started doing the scripts. (the scripts of themselves are life altering)
I have all my life, bottled up inside, an enormous well spring of passion, compassion, desire to help, to inspire, to shout out my feelings of joy, and happiness and my love for the beautiful world we live in.
In a Diary notation about three years ago I began to express my frustration. In quotes:
"I want to get what's inside, outside."
As recently as six months ago, I talked about the feelings locked up inside and my frustration in finding a way to express them.
I started writing Beautiful Summer Morning as a way to get what's inside out. But I wasn't satisfied with the effort.
Then I started the Tools to Life course. I worked along steadily and things changed in my life. All sorts of amazing and wonderful things have happen.
But I didn't realize, until two days ago, that all of a sudden I had found my voice, that the inside was getting outside.
I cannot express the magnitute of the shift for me.
I thought I was a caring, compassionate person until I started doing tools and came face to face with an immense ego of selfishness. I began to work on that in small ways. Each release brought me to a new level of understand but a new barrier to overcome.
I began to understand that I did not share well, that the key to real lasting change was to change that one thing about me.
It wasn't that I didn't want to share, it was more that I was terrified of sharing. And the terror bottled everything up inside, like a cork on a wine bottle.
Well sometime in the last week I finally got the cork all the way out and I am bubbling over the rim like very good champagne.
I have always been a pretty happy guy, but now the emotions just flow out. I am not afraid to express feelings, express all the beauty that surrounds us, express my gratitude for those people who have been part of my out busrt of sharing.
I do not know how high , high is for me at the moment, but I do know that I have ambitions that I would have laughted at a year and half ago.
So milestone, breakthough, success story here it all is.
And a final offer. If you need help or encouragement to get through this course then I hope my story inspires you to tough it out. But I am more than willing to be a mentor should you need it. I know you have Coach Steele, but you got me too if you need it.
With Love to all here at Tools to Life and a very big heart felt , Thank You to Coach Steele and to Janet Legere who cared enough to share her knowledge with me.
Nick Grimshawe
