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Notmisbhaven
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Birth Date: Wed, May 30 1945

Place of residence:
Galt CA, United States (map)

I am: Married

Schools: At 63 I am starting College the regular way, thanks Tool To Life for giving me the courage - College of Hard Knocks

Jobs: Waitress, Dancer, Human Services, Office Manager, Foster Parent and Mental Health Associate

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Member Since: 01/29/08
Last Login: 11/18/08
Viewed: 5009
Program in:
Program Progress: Day 14
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No Junk Food!!!
The Boost Challenge
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Areas In My Life I Want To Work On

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I Suffer From

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Notmisbhaven's Life List:
Being a non-drinking alcoholic, since 9/20/1997
Smoke free, since 4/5/2008
RV across America, summer in Canada
Return to College
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Message Board

 

Edenscapes Edenscapes: 2008-06-21 16:05:52

Read this blog of Eric's. I was on StumbleUpon and found it. http://blog.theworldobserved.com/

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angieszz angieszz: 2008-11-18 09:56:38

A boost for facing your fear head-on. Have a great day! Angie

pehi pehi: 2008-11-14 05:26:59

HUGE BOOST to you! You are an inspiration wonderful woman! Thanks for sharing and I LOVE the picture! Blessings

katwbr katwbr: 2008-10-22 09:45:53

A big boost from katwbr ,boost me back

: 2008-08-14 15:00:51

boost!

Nickstar Nickstar: 2008-08-04 02:58:07

Great big boost for you, for the courage you have shown. thanks for sharing your story. Even tho its not easy. all the best to you.

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Oh, I've had oodles of different directions in my life -- jobs, businesses, projects, relationships and various other areas of life. As a child I'd start something -- learning to play an instrument or some other skill -- and then after a while I'd be ready to switch to something else. My Mom and Dad were wonderful and gave me all the opportunities I wanted.  However, they did get exasperated at times not understanding why I couldn’t stay with something I was really good at.
That was the problem once I was good at it, the challenge was over and I was ready for something new and to this day I am the same way.

I am the youngest of a very large family, seven brothers and six sisters, but I was raised as an only child, the closest sibling was a sister who was eighteen years older and by the time I was born had already started a family of her own I was raised in the fifties when a career was not an option, but marriage was.  I wondered what was wrong with me, as I had no interest in becoming a housewife.  It just seemed so boring. Eventually I did marry and had two children.  After my first born, my husband became abusive both physically and mentally.  I turned to alcohol for solace and finally went across the line in to alcoholism. Four years later I divorced my husband and went home to my mom’s.  My dad had died two years earlier and mom needed her family.  In reality it was that I needed a place to live with a live-in babysitter.  I was twenty one and free.
In the next ten years I married twice.  The same type of man my first husband was just different faces. Finally at age thirty-one, I went to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, not because I was an alcoholic, but to support a friend that was a real alcoholic.  We went to meeting every night and two weeks later I admitted that I too was an alcoholic.  In the next two and a half years I had many one and three month birthdays.  At last in 1979 the program of AA and all those meeting broke through the fog in my brain and I haven’t found it necessary to drink again. Once I looked at what I was doing to my life and the people around me from a sober perspective I knew that major changes needed to be done.  And now, all these years and all these amazing experiences later, I wouldn't change a bit of it. Now I know it was all about my deep inner longing for FREEDOM.  Not the freedom to use and manipulate others, but the freedom to be me.

I still have problems or as Devlyn says I just keep discovering new opportunities to experience more and more and I am so very grateful for this site.  Getting back to the basics of taking care of me.

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Should I satart over?  There were exercises at the time I was unable to do.  I believe I can now or should I finish the 90 days and then go back and do the exercises?

What I did do helped a great deal.  I no longer smoke (I did for over 50 years), my cholesterol has went from 282 to 177 and I have started with a theripist that I was able to talk to about things I have never shared with anyone before.  So, a lot growth has been happening in my life even though I haven't followed directions very well.

Most popular answers

merrily merrily at 2008-11-13

says: It is possible to go back to the days you have done and redo them. I have been doing this. Especially when I hit a hard day and can't go forward, or feel I missed something and need to finish it in order to go on. Practice makes perfect. How much better will you be when you have done these things thoroughly!!!!!!

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I joined TOOLS because:
 I needed to get back to the basics of taking care of me. For the last 29 years I have taken care of others and now that I've retired I need to focus on me and what would I like to do and be in my "Golden Years".
You are offered your dream job. What job is it?:
 Travel Guide for Seniors. Offering trips through North, Central and South Americas.
My favorite wild animal is:
 the Gray Wolf
Why (describe as much as possible):
 A Gray Wolf is family oriented. They live in packs. When pups are born the mother stays with them and the rest of the pack hunt and bring food back for the mother. when the pups are old enough the mother will leave and one of the others will stay home and babysit. "A family that plays together stays together." ;-)
My favorite domestic animal is (if you choose dog be specific with breed etc):
 Cats of any breed.
Why:
 They each have there own personalities. I've had cats all my life and I have never had two alike.
Five people either dead or alive you would have at your fantasy dinner party::
 Mother Teresa, Kuan Yin, Napolian Hill, Emmet Fox and Eleanor Roosevelt.
Why:
 They all knew who they were and what they had to give to the Human Race and the ability to do so.
If a pilot would fly you anywhere you want, you would go to:
 Tibet
My perfect slice of pizza is:
 A large slice of vegetarian pizza.
You are at a bar. You order this drink:
 A Virgin Margarita with a salted rim glass.
You are at a coffee shop. What coffee or tea do you order:
 Green Tea
You are going on a long road trip and you can only bring three CD's. Which ones do you bring (separate by commas):
 Sri Guru Gita sung by Kumuda, Bach's Adagios, Native Wisdom by Ken Cohen
If I could do anything for my neighborhood today, it would be:
 volunteer for a Neighborhood Watch
A sunset I remember:
 A beautiful red sun setting in the Pacific Ocean and my Granddaughter asking if I could make it do it again.
Any character I could be from a movie, TV show or book would be:
 Auntie Mame
Why:
 Auntie Mame was one of the most entertaining fictional characters of the century, she was certainly a free spirit and more fun then anyone I could imagine in the 50's, her wit was fantastic.