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Join Now Mixed feelings by Oscar
 
Oscar
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Birth Date: Mon, Dec 17 1962

Place of residence:
Torreon Coahuila, Mexico (map)

I am: Married

Schools: Itesm, Ipade, Pereyra

Jobs: Engineer, manager

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Study Engineering
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Mixed feelings

 

 

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Oscar

  Oscar

Mon, May 26 06:45 PM

Mixed feelings

 

This week my wife and myself are passing through an economig storm. Too many things that were umpredicted have unbalanced our budget severely (car crash, kid sick, extra charges at school, etc.).

 

In one side I see the storm with the confidence that I´m sailing the right path and that I will pass through it without question, and I realy feel I´m handling the situation as I should. In the other, I´m uncapable of transmiting this confidence to my wife (distance may make things even a little more difficult, since I´m out of home right now´til weekend).

 

I hear my wife desperate with fear of what may happen if any other unpredicted event occurs these days to us now, for which we wouldn´t have money to resolve. (If that happens, we would need to ask for help, and I´m sure we would get it, though I hope this won´t be necessary). 

 

I try to convince her that we need to focus on the now and fix one thing at a time and asure her that everything will be alright, but I feel the tension in her, the fear, and I fell helpless to help her peace of mind.

 

I´ll keep as close as I can be through chat or phone, and I hope that as days go by, she will become more confident. I feel sad when I see her feeling helpless and I also regret I can not offer her more confidence.

 

Well, as I told her, I tell to myself, one step at a time and keep moving... there will certainly be much better days ahead.

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autumn mist autumn mist FamilyCoach FamilyCoach Wordsmith Wordsmith Rexo Rexo independantspirit independantspirit RobertFarrell RobertFarrell


 

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Rexo Rexo:

If you don't ask, you don't get.

It is indeed an awful feeling but as you say, with carefully crafted steps you will get through this situation. Call it a temporary - NOT permanent - hiccup that happens to a great number of us out there.

 

What is the source of your wife's fear - the fear of asking for help should things become overwhelming?

 

I found when I experienced my own economic tsunami, friends and family were only too eager to help. It actually strengthened our relationships rather than hindered them. They knew I was good for any loans and I systematically paid them off, ensuring I kept them up to date with how things progressed rather than keep them wondering.

 

Sure it was scary - no-one likes asking for help and it's not exactly great for the ego! Through those difficulties I learnt a lot of positives about myself and others. Wouldn't you welcome the opportunity to help if a friend of yours was in difficulty? I'm sure you would. 

 

I'm sure eventually things will work out well for you. 

cvallarino cvallarino:

Trite as it sounds...This too shall pass...

These things that we allow to swell up in our windshield and appear to block our path are nothing more than an overblown perception of the challenge at hand. A few deep breaths, maybe a goods nights rest and you will awaken to slay the overblown beast and reassure you wife that as always -- everything will be alright.

 

You said it perfectly, take it one step at a time, and carefully deal with each individual item singularly -- do not attempt to digest them all at once. I have heard this a million times, and it always rings true: Q: "How do you eat an elephant" A: "One bite at time".