Save big money? Yeah, thanks for advise rich dude...

Those websites that claim to have 5 ways to save big money always seem to have such useful advice.  And they fall into two categories  -- those that think I'm already rich and those that think I"m pretty much an idiot.

Rich - "Instead of going to Paris for vacation this year why not try Orlando", "Maybe cut back to buying designer shoes once or twice a year."

Idiot "When grocery shopping, it's best to look for sales and coupons."  "Try to go on the day the fruits and vegetables are the freshest"  "Check the expiration dates on the milk".

To the former I say, "Put your latte down, slap yourself in the face and only then may you return to texting your stock broker about your Apple stock.

To the latter I say, "Do you honestly think this never occured to me?  Do you honestly think someone will suddenly feel a nirvana like rush from such gems of wisdom?  I have a mother...she taught me those things...Sales?  Coupons?  Never heard of them."

To the both of you I say, "I really need some advice for someone who hasn't taken a vacation in years, who buys most of my clothes from used stores, going out of business specials or 'holy crap, we have all these winter clothes we need to get rid of - let's sell it for a dollar' sales and the last date night for me and da missus was a Jolson film."

..and I still am using credit cards to buy the freakin' groceries.

When you can give me advice I can use, THEN, you can go back to the electronic Maj Jong tiles, bon bons and Italian soap operas in Tuscany.

God I need a beer.  Can someone load me a couple of bucks?

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