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Pickmeup
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Birth Date: Fri, Aug 03 1973

Place of residence:
London London, United Kingdom (map)

I am: Single & Not Dating

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Member Since: 08/30/10
Last Login: 08/30/10
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My names Paul.

I come from a very creative background, but am still unsure if I'm creative or not?  I make films and do photography as part of my job, (corporate stuff I'm afraid), but question if it's a genuine desire to create, or simply trying to catch up with my parents, (I don't know). I'm not as good as these two things as I should be though - (I still leave the lens cap on every now and then), and wonder whether to train further or do something completely different. 

I've always wanted to make some kind of mark on the world, to be more than just a random gravestone at the end of it.

One of the biggest questions in my life at the moment - am I barking up the wrong tree, and if I am which tree should I be barking up? 

I live in London, but don't make as much of it as I could. I love many of the things about the place, but with so much creativity, youth and cool things going on I sometimes feel it's impossible for me to every make any kind of mark. 

My personality - I have issues with. I'm kind, tolerant and patient. I'm usually light hearted, sometimes to the point of silliness. I think relationship wise I'm a slow burner. I find it difficult to let people in. I can find dealing with other people hard. I can get hurt very easily, and tend to reject before being rejected. Recently I find myself being invited out less, and spending more and more time on my own, (not ideal being single). 

My confidence is pretty appalling, I've had rushes of confidence, but they last for all to short of a time. Most of the time I feel pretty worthless. I self obsess a bit, and spend far to much time thinking about myself, (mostly in a negative way) 

I live in London and find it difficult to work out how to place myself. There are so many cool and right thinking people here.  I find it hard to work out what kind of impact I can make here - maybe I can't? 

Currently I'm stuck - hoping that I can find a way to move forward. 

I joined TOOLS because:
 I like the structure of the programme. I've realised that my goals are still not defined enough, and this will hopefully help me to get more clarity
You are offered your dream job. What job is it?:
 war or wildlife photographer, (at least I think).
My favorite wild animal is:
 Great white shark
Why (describe as much as possible):
 Excitement and danger. I don't really have a cuddly favourite. Animals leave me feeling a little cold, apart from dog.
My favorite domestic animal is (if you choose dog be specific with breed etc):
 Dog - and a big dog - Labradors
Why:
 Our family have always loved dogs. They give you so much affection, (our cats have always been quite contrary/vicious). My parents friends in South Africa had a beaufiula labrador named Sandy. They seemed to have the ideal lifestyle and dog I aspired to at that time
A famous Chef will prepare anything you want. What do you order:
 Well it can't be steak and chips. My culinary imagination is not fantastic - but a really amazing Boef Bourginoun is one of my favourites, (my mother used to make an amazing one).
Why:
 I'm a coward when it comes to experimenting in restaurants. I'm curious as to food - but hate to miss on the enjoyment of having someone great prepare something I love. Boef Bourginoun is filling and delicious.
Five people either dead or alive you would have at your fantasy dinner party::
 I feel my conversation is so poor, that I'd feel intimidated to invite the people I most admire. I suppose that if the pressure were taken off me - Stephen Fry, Jesus, Marilyn Monroe, Woody Allen (70's version), William Shakespeare
Why:
 I like people who are (I think) kind as well as charismatic. It's good to have a balance of wit, philosophy and raw intelligence. It's going to be hard to keep the subject of religion out of the conversation however.
If a pilot would fly you anywhere you want, you would go to:
 These questions are really exposing my lack of ambition/imagination. Ok - Tanzania's beaches look entrancing. If I could go with someone I love, I'd love to Experience New York.
My perfect slice of pizza is:
 Pepperoni and Olives, (although I'd feel guilty about eating it).
You are at a bar. You order this drink:
 I'm realling getting into my real ales at the moment - probably the ale with the most tantalizing name.
You are at a coffee shop. What coffee or tea do you order:
 Cappucino with an extra shot - I'm a bit of a caffeine junky. My drug of choice
If a genie could grant you three wishes they would be (separate by commas):
 to be twenty years (physically) younger, to find someone who I love and who loves me, (who I could be together with), 20 billion quid to take care of the rest and to help out my family.
You are going on a long road trip and you can only bring three CD's. Which ones do you bring (separate by commas):
 Arrrgh! My musical taste changes so much. it would be the Best of the Beatles, Stone Roses, Cicada
If I could do anything for my neighborhood today, it would be:
 Put some decent cycle parking in place
A sunset I remember:
 I thought I was a romantic - but can't think of one - sorry
Any character I could be from a movie, TV show or book would be:
 Frodo in lord of the rings, Han Solo in Star Wars, Sherlock Holmes, (would be lovely to be right)
Why:
 Adventure - I think I want adveture.