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Purrrkitten
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Birth Date: Hidden

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Cold Lake Alberta, Canada (map)

I am: Married

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Member Since: 05/13/09
Last Login: 10/25/11
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Purrrkitten's Life List:
I'm going to finish my novel and get it published. Then I'm going to finish all the other ones and publish them too!
I'm going to build an acting group with the same desires and goals as myself.
I'm going to go to a Sprint race in Las Vegas.
I want to go traveling. I'd like to see Scotland, Terme Turkey, the Amazon rain forest tree walk, Machu Pichu.
I want to keep my relationship/marriage good and constantly growing.

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Without Faith It's Impossible...

 

 

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Purrrkitten

  Purrrkitten

Thu, Jun 25 12:47 PM

Without Faith It's Impossible...

 

Something else I struggle with... I can have faith in so many other things and people but I lack faith in myself. Why? What is inside me that I fear so much? What makes me lack that faith in my own abilities and choices?

 

I can see why I fail. I don't believe I can do things. I'm working on it but somewhere inside my head, I have a nagging doubt that I truly deserve anything good. Up until my current relationship, I picked abusive or emotionally unavailable men to "fall in love" with and then in the end, sabataged those relationships by going and finding someone else to "save me" and sometimes put myself into something worse. Up until this relationship, I was almost paralyzed with fear about making choices - especially big ones. I didn't stand up to anyone when they were wrong or I disagreed. Always that thought that maybe it was just me who was wrong.

 

I am slowly making my way through that minefield. Sometimes its hard and I want to fall back on my old habits of giving up. But I'm stronger than that! I CAN have faith in myself. I DO have faith in myself. I CAN believe in myself and I WILL believe in myself.

 

I almost put: "I'll need encouragement if I fall" but I erased it because if I say that, I've already stopped believing, haven't I. How about this: I'd love to have your encouragement and I know I can easily believe you will be able to overcome your own disbelief and struggles! Good luck!

 

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