A Challenge And a Wake Up...

Funny how you don't realize how much someone is a major part of your everyday life until something happens and the person isn't there anymore. I'm thanking God every day that he's still with me and that things seem to be alright for now.

I've been missing TOOLS for nearly a week and I have missed it! On Sunday evening, my common law hubby collapsed and had a mild seizure at the supper table. He took a hot pot of soup with him to the floor and his muscles were so tense, I could even grasp him to pull him over so he wasn't being burned by it. Fortunately, my oldest son was home to look after my 4 yr old twins or it would have been much more challenging to focus on him. He spent the night in the hospital getting a couple of tests and having his heart monitored. His BP was 175/112 so obviously his BP pills haven't been doing their job. Since we have such a shortage of doctors in our town, he hasn't had his meds checked in over a year. That won't be happening any more!!!! If I have to, I'm giving up my position with my doctor to have him take my place. I don't have anything serious that must be monitored!

Since he's home now, we are taking his BP seriously and have invested in a whole lot of veggies and label reading. I'm exercising - slowly! - together with him so he doesn't overdo it since he's like me and tends to go nuts until you hurt yourself! We've committed to working together and making a healthier lifestyle change. The Wii Fit helps cuz its fun and the thought of losing him motivates me really good!!

Sunday night, after I got my son to bed, I sat alone and cried. I know I could survive his loss but there would be a huge hole where he resides in my heart and life. I don't want to lose my best friend!!!

I'm trying very hard to keep on looking at the positives in all this. He's getting his meds adjusted, they're doing tests he may have needed but not had done until too late, we're both getting more exercise and eating better, we both more aware of enjoying not only each others company more (we've always had that!) but the kids' company too.  I believe (hope!!) that its just his meds weren't working that caused this and that it won't happen again.

I am finding it hard to not keep him in sight all the time. I worry even when he goes to the bathroom! He's at work today and (without me saying anything) eveyone is watching over him there. I am grateful for that too! I am challenged to make myself better for not only my own sake, but for his too. I know we will both succeed in this because we both want to.

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Tags: tough week, worry, positive, Change