I'm just not happy.  With anything.  I never feel like I'm enough.

It's not even really about feeling.  I'm just not enough.  I'm disgustingly fat, uninspired, uncommitted,  uninvolved, and practically a hermit because I'm so embarrassed of who I have become.  When I wake up in the morning the first thought in my head is how gross I am.  The last thing I think about at night as I lay in bed alone (we never go to bed at the same time) is how weak I am for not being able to show some self control. Everything I do is disappointing.  

Trust me...I have plenty of reasons to better myself.  I think about those reasons everyday.  I stare them in the face and grab an extra slice of whatever is for dinner as I can see the look of disappointment on their faces while they watch me. Gross.  How can I do that?   

I'm committed to this program.  It looks like me light at the end of this very dim journey.