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Join Now Day 32 and yet i feel like Day 1 by Sarahl7576
 
Sarahl7576
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Birth Date: Fri, Feb 23 1990

Place of residence:
America's Hometown Massachusetts, United States (map)

I am: In Relationship

Schools: Plymouth South Tech. High school

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Member Since: 02/14/10
Last Login: 04/27/11
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Day 32 and yet i feel like Day 1

 

 

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Sarahl7576

  Sarahl7576

Tue, Sep 28 12:16 AM

Day 32 and yet i feel like Day 1

 

First I want to start by saying this title has absolutly NOTHING to do with the program. This program is awesome and its a terrible shame i fell off of it for as long as I did. It has to do with how I've been feeling lately. I've been off the program sense probably late spring. Lately, I feel like I need tools now more than ever. My career as a photographer is starting to pick up. Things in my career are starting to look bright. I can't help that from within myself I feel HORRIBLE! I'm just such a mess trying to get my life together that I've just lost sight of whats most important in my life which is...ME. I'm at the heaviest i've ever been in my entire life. I feel so unappealing, so unattractive, so unbeautiful. I wish there was a way that a mosquesto can suck the fat outta myself and put it in those who have been so horrible in life. Why do the horrible people in life get to be beautiful?

Anyways, I'm starting a new chapter in my life. I'm titling it ALL ABOUT ME. I'm taking a giant dose of I LOVE ME pill and hopefully finding myself some self worth. Maybe within that self worth i can find some confidence and self beauty. I'm at my breaking point im so fraggile with my emotions and how i feel its insane. I started to cry the other day just because my boyfriend asked me if everything is okay. I wanted to say no and tell him how i really feel but i can't just tell him. hes got enough stress on him with his own life these days.

I just wish I could have an opifony or however you spell it so i can have the answers to my questions. a cure to my self hatred.

 

 

yeah sorry i can't spell im just venting. maybe someone within this program can have answers for me. or maybe its one of thoses i have to find the answers from within myself.

 

 

who knows......

 

 

 

 

 

 

.....but does anyone care?

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This post is cheered by:

myeviltwin myeviltwin


 

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myeviltwin myeviltwin:

I do....

You know we all go through different stages in our life. Both individually and in our relationships with others. From what i just read you actually have alot going for you. Your career is picking up and you are in a relationship with someone. Have you tried talking to your bf about how you feel. I understand the stress issue he may have but alot of times when our partners are dealing with issues it puts even more stress on us. If you cant talk to him I am more than willing to offer my support or an ear. I will be succeeding in this program because I know I need help. But sometimes it's nice to just talk to someone that has no stake so to speak in your personal life. Let me know.

melody33 melody33:

Me too!

Stick with your tools, it definitely helps develop self worth.  Even just logging in every day, you take time for yourself, nobody else, and you are so worth it!

 

What about grabbing your camera and taking a walk every day?  A quick 10-15 minute walk by yourself (for yourself) - go different ways and find new things to take pictures of.  You'll get exercise, which will help with stress, and those pesky extra lbs.  :)  Just an idea. 

 

I think in the end you have to find the answers yourself, but Tools, and the community can help.  We're here for you!

forbish07 forbish07:

All I can say....

Is continue on with your TOOLS.  Following this program will surely help you with your self confidence/worth issues.  As far as your weight issue is concerned, do you exercise regularly??  Do you eat healthy foods and with proper portioning???  Do you keep track of what you are eating daily??  If the answer to any or all of these questions is no, then why not???  If you do these things on a daily basis you will not only feel better physically, but emotionally as well!!  When you exercise your body releases Endorphines which give you a natural high, which in turn makes you feel happier about everything!! If you really want to change the things about your life that you are unhappy about, DO IT!!  Simple as that!!  Good luck!

Sarahl7576 Sarahl7576:

Thank you

It means a lot from the bottom of my heart that there are good people out there who could take such interest in what i have to say and not judge me. Truly, words can't express how thankful i am to see the comments on this. I can't make promises I can't keep. I know I need to better myself so I'm going to start trying to do whats better for me. i'm actually gonna go for a walk today sense it stopped raining.