Day 17 - sleepless smoking

Hello fellow bloggers and bloggerettes.  I must say, I've taken quite a hiatus since the last run.  I want to whine and complain about the checklist getting so long... but the truth of the matter is, the longer it gets, the more pressure/guilt I feel for not doing a lot of it.  You know, cuz the longer it gets, the more items show up that I don't think I do.  

I don't tell myself that I can't... I tell myself that if I do not do it, then I must not want too all that bad.  and if I don't want to do it all that bad, then I must be content with what few Tools I've picked up and am not interested in doing the rest to change for the best.

Sounds like a buncha hooollyboo, doens't it?  I dunno.  I quite smoking when I burned down the last emegency cigar yesterday evening on the way to work.  I still have a couple of cigs in a box at the house and I suspect I'll smoke those tomorrow night.  But I don't expect that I'll be smoking much more.  I had the anti-smoking lecture the other day and then a couple days later, I just happen to look to see how much we spend each month on smokes.  It was $250/mo.  Since the rate has gone up, its up to $350 for part of the month.  Thats a car payment!!  

The down side is that I use smokes to stay awake... but this day's lesson was about sleeping.  So I guess its all planned out like that... quit smoking, then sleep more... I won't have a choice.. hheheeh.. I'll fall over unless I can keep the nicotine levels up in the evenings.  There's so much to explore and do online... I'll surely miss something, no?  hehehe..

I think the toughest thing is going to be the drive home tomorrow.  I typically smoke about 4-5 cigars on the 5 hour run home.  Tomorrow I will smoke none.  Then Sunday, I'm plannning on running the roads late at night... that is the best time for me to "use" nicotine to my advantage.  I guess I'll have to employ the 5 hour energy drinks for times like that.

I really like smoking though... particularly the cigar on the way to and from work.  I can do without the evening cigs really (as long as I'm not hanging out with the wife who is smoking)... but the cigars in the car are going to be the hardest.  

I'm trying to replace the "habit" with drinking water instead of smoking.  Perhaps even with a straw to get a similar "oral fixation"...  Dunno... I haven't really freaked out yet.  I don't think I will... I might get grumpy in a couple of days though and that is going to suck.

It appears that my blogs are getting as long as some of these lessons!!  Except they're not quite as informative about anything but what happens to be streaming through my head at the moment.  Hehehehe... I guess tahts the point though, right?  "Its my blog and I can blog what I want to".

Thanks for reading,

Shane13

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Tags: Day 17, Smoking, Sleeping, excuses