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Feeling down........ by Skinman
Hello everyone,
today has been a tough day...Last night I found out my stbxw spent the night at her new boyfriends house... after 15 years together she can throw it all away for an affair.... I wonder why I never saw the real person that she has become... Why couldn't I see all along what she was becoming... I guess when they say love is blind in a way they are right.... I knew all the while my wife was capable of doing what she is.... Its funny how in the beginning when we dated she was married... I thought things were different with us we had dated in high school and I thought fate had brought us back together...
Sadly in a sense it did.... I guess when people talk about Karma there is a little truth to it.. When we dated in high school we were both young and I didn't really want a relationship with her and we broke up... well here it is 25 years later she has done the same to me.........Did I deserve it ?? I dont know.. I was always a good husband made sure my family lacked nothing.. we had a good life so I thought but in the end I guess it wasnt good enough for her. She felt the need to look elsewhere for affection or whatever she felt was lacking in our marriage..
Or lacking within herself.... Am I bitter... to a point yes... Mostly hurt and betrayed by someone who has meant the world to me......
comments
Same place......
Hey skinman.... I'm excatly where your at right now... my wife of 18 years left me... and as we speak she is with another. I certainly understand and feel your pain. Thank god for tools... it has breathed in new hope for me for a new path of self-discovery, and personal growth. I am dealing with very fresh wounds, like you... some days are good others really bad. But I keep coming back here to tools, awesome support to get through the rough times, which I have to work through, instead of keeping them locked deep inside, and become self-destructive. I certainly encourage you to continue to apply all the great things here at tools, and continue to reach out for the support you will need to get past this. Hang in there my friend.... one day at a time.... or for me sometimes one hour at a time
Re : Feeling Down
Hi there I felt drawn to respond to your blog post.
There is often a real sense of betrayal when a spouse cheats on you. It tends to trigger a lot of old painful feelings of abandonment, not being good enough, self blame, and bitterness, not to talk of the sense of loss and disappointment.
When this happens I think its very important to do everything we can to take of ourselves and our own immediate needs.
Self Love and Self care is needed in these situations. Can you treat yourself with tenderness and care? can you say nice things to yourself and hold off any heavy self critism? Can you use this time to do something you've always wanted to do before, but could not find the time for?
I'm really happy right now, but when I have been don in the past, I found that writing my feelings down in a journal really helped as well as prayer.
Take Care.
Love
aartisans