The End is near

Well it has been a while since I have been on tools... there has been so much going on with my life and my impending divorce I haven't felt the need to log on... Sadly my 15 year marriage is almost over. By the end of the month all my hopes and dreams that I had with my "family and wife" will be no longer. I was doing great until recently I guess seeing the end so close has brought it all back to the front of my mind. Sleepless nights, the emotions, all the things I thought were behind me, have come back with a vengeance....

I no longer look at her and see the woman I pledged my heart too, my love and undying devotion.. all I see is him... A man who has moved into my life, my house and taken my spot at the table.. Getting affection from my dog and most likely tucking my daughter into bed... The smile on her face that once was for me but no longer is... All I see when i look in the mirror, is the years this has put on my face, the look of rejection and hurt for a marriage and family that meant the world to me..

Soon it will be gone, like my old dreams only to be replaced with new ones.. bigger and better dreams that will be filled with someone who will love me as I love myself....

A new life that will be what I make it to be...... There will only be occassional thoughts of what I lost....... My wife

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