megan123:

Feelings

Wow - reading your post - I could really relate - I used to (sometimes still do) wear my feelings on my shirt sleeve so to speak, look for evidence to prove my feelings (and I) did not matter to my partner etc.  Even now if my children do not call on a holiday I can let myself get into a space of feeling hurt.  But I have learned some things that have proved helpful.

1. while you cannot make other people do what you want them to do, you can ask for what you feel you need. (e.g. write a little valentine note saying how much you care for your partner and how the is number one on your list and how sometimes you have a hard time feeling that you are number one on his list and maybe you two could schedule some time every week where you come first ahead of everything else. be specific about what would need to happen for you to be able to actually feel that you are number 1 during that special time.)

2. Fact: Most men really really don't get it.  They just don't know what you need if you don't remind them ever so often in a loving way. To most men, going to work and focusing on their job every day is expressing love and care - they are doing it for the two of you, so they have to learn that sometimes a woman needs something else. The will not think of these things on their own without a little help

3. If you do ask for what you feel you need, but still don't get it at least once in a while you have to seriously consider if you want to stay in the relationship and live without it or leave and find another relationship where you do get what you feel you need. Only you can decide that.

4. when you are feeling needy - give your self what you need as best as you can - do nice things for yourself on a regular basis - you cannot expect others to give you what you do not first give yourself, that includes you sometimes putting yourself first and feeling good about it!

hth ~megan