Greeting Fellow Toolers!
OK....so fast forward two weeks or so to
my trip to Boston. It was tough for me to leave my daily rhythm of waking up to
Coach and my lesson, and blogging.
I loved it.
But life has a way of giving us what
we need, and I had to go to Boston to
get it!
After the first week, I noticed that
the people next door to my job had a
lawn sale, so I went over to see what
was for sale.
Among the things I grabbed, I spied the book...."The Power Of NOW" by Eckhart
Tolle. (pronounced To-lay) I had seen it before, but dismissed it as another
Oprah fad, and possibly an anti Christian
spirited work.
Because I had recently been directed to
the reality that I suffered from over-
dwelling on the past....I grabbed it up
with a few old tapes and another book
called "Effortless Mastery" (Liberating
The Master Musician Within) by Kenny Werner. (Another book that teaches to
play in the NOW)
I'll never forget this moment. It was
the next morning early in my truck
waiting for the greasy spoon diner
to open for breakfast at 7 AM....I was
reading the Introduction.
Eckhart said he was miserable....in
misery about his life and in every way,
and he said to himself at the height of
his suffering....." I cannot live with
myself any longer....".....when all of a
sudden he realized the thought....."Am
I two?" Who is the "I" that cant stand
the "self"?
What pure voice was this observing
entity, that loved him...wanted good
for him, and made this judgement
about him?
Why did it care? Why did it want good
for him?
As soon as I read this.....it was as
though my heart opened up, and
a gusher of Light and Truth poured
into my soul! I cannot begin to tell you
how I felt! It's as though all things
became new, and the sensation of
this Fountain was utterly gushing
like the mighty Mississipi river......and
though I continued to read.....I was
realizing......"Just put the book down,
and sit under this....It's all you need...
Its you!"
Every material object became energized...
my existence was meaningful and vibrant,
my heart was ravished and filled with
a pure stream of knowledge and I felt
unending Love and wisdom and peace!
I simply cannot tell you in words.
I was smiling and beaming so....that
when I left my vehicle....I was thinking
that all who saw me could see it and
feel it. Everyone smiled and came towards
me, as though they could feel my energy!
I met my pure self!
I met my pure consciousness....my "I Am".
I met my pure NOW.....unfolding inside
me as each second passed.....
I understood everything, and needed nothing.
I fully understood that I am not body
or mind....and none of the messy noise
of my thoughts....and I was not the
failure of my past....but that my mind and body were mearly the vehicle to allow my
True Being to be here and pass through time...and that the mess I made of my life
was because I identified with and listened
to my mind and thoughts!
I realized that this inner self, My pure Now...
wanted the best for me, Loves Me....
always tells me the Truth, and would never
hurt me or others...I realized I could be
THERE and identify with THAT PART, and not
my noisy,spoiled brat,unpure,hoo-bee-booby,
bottle sucking baby and quite DARK MIND,
but that I could be at peace, and live in the NOW!!!!
This state of self awareness lasted for a full day or two as the total GUSHER of inner Joy,
and my work, and my reactions to everything that happened to me was easy, and stable, and resourceful.....My eyes felt like they beamed, and my cheeks were sore from smiling so much!
Imagine, all without drugs, alcohol, or
outward support, but all from within on
from myself!
Everything I continued to read from that book was like...."Oh, of course!" or
"Oh...thats true, yes!" I understood so well
that I could write the book myself!
I then also saw that some people readily
identified with what I was saying about it,
some were tenative and thinking a lot,
and some were totally darkened and unable to embrace it....even a bit afraid.
Its as though I could see in the Spirit,
and could read every feeling and thought between us in the air.....and I was hypersensitive to everyone around me
in a patient and Loving way!
Whenever I felt myself get caught up in
my feelings of my thought life and
"darken", I could stop and access my NOW,
a state of "No Mind", and realize the
state of Consciousness flowing in the NOW again, and regain my Peace!
I then realized that the Honeymoon that
people have when they feel that they are
"saved" is because they come closer to NOW
than they ever have before in their lives,
and its the only place that GOD is.....because
we are all part and parcel of the unfolding NOW!!!!!
The only way you can pray is to quiet
yourself and speak to the NOW....because
thats the only place God is!
As a matter of fact...I remember the place
in the Bible where it is announced that
"Time is NO More" !
It's where the pain is!
Regretting the past.....wishing for pleasure
to escape from pain...and fearing the future
are all part and parcel of the mind and the
"pain body" we have inside!
Even Jesus pointed to the fact that the
"Kingdom of Heaven is within you!"
I see it now so fully!
And now, my favorite passage from the book....
" If you no longer want to create pain for yourself and others, if you no longer want to
add to the residue of past pain that still lives on in you, then dont create any more time, or at least no more than is necessary to deal with the practical aspects of your life. How to stop creating time? Realize deeply that the present is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life. Whereas before you dwelt in time and paid breif visits to the Now, have your dwelling place in the Now, and pay breif visits to the past and future when requred to deal with the practical aspects of your life situation.
Always say "yes" to the present moment.
What could be more futile, more insane, than to create innner resistance to something that already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say "Yes" to Life- and see how life starts working FOR YOU rather than against you.
The Power Of Now page 28
I cannot tell you how this has helped me already! I'm more stable.....my choices are more resourceful and from self love in a healthy way. Im more patient and happier!
I realize that all the things that happen
to us in life are TO PUSH US TO THE NOW !
To make us realze the NOW!
I am perfect and pure...I am all I need
when I am connected to the SOURCE, and
the stream downloads NOW, NOW, NOW!!!!
Every second is precious and true, and FULL
OF PEACE and POWER!
It quiets the junk and lust and impatience and every noisy filthy week cry baby thought
that emanates my from my MIND! I wake up smiling, and go to sleep smiling. Long drives are easy, and the less noise the better!
I used to not be able to stand my thought
life for 40 hours while I painted all day alone for 33 years, now my thought life is positive, funny, pleasurable, and controllable!
And last but not least......Mr Tolle says that
people would tell him, " I want what you have" "Can you give it to me, or show me how to get it?"
He would answer, "You possess it already!
It's so true!
You are perfect, and there is a place that is quiet and pure and strong inside you! It loves you, and can lift you from any bad situation, even the gutter, and hopelessness in a twinkling of an eye.....It is the "I" that
cant stand you when you are in a bad way!"
It is that part of our Creator within us and
in His image!
I Love You All In This Glorious Struggle,
Looking at ourselves in the light of self discovery, and wish the same or better for all of you!
It's all Good!
It's all pure and so full of LOVE and POWER,
there is no condition, or fear, or regret that
it cannot deliver you from !
I am, and I am NOW!
Smilinsteve
