I'm back from my trip to see my
step daughters wedding. It was a
sweet time marked for me by
seeing all the friends and family
members I'd known since 1976.
That was an amazing experience,
since they all were conveniently
grouped in one room for me!
Everyone had gotten older, heavier,
and they were all in a pleasant
mood since the occasion was a
festive one. The children were the
most amazing, such growth and
energy!
It was great to see my step
daughters, and their families.
I DJ'd, slept, and drove 5 hours
back home to Massachusetts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then, it happened.
My girlfriend turned the TV on to
a movie called "Music Of The Heart"
with Meryl Streep and Aidan Quinn,
a movie about an white violin teacher
who got a job teaching inner city
kids to play violin.
As the movie progressed, I was
constantly touched and found myself
in tears.....remembering my youth as
I struggled with practicing as well.
At the end of the movie, I cried,
and cried, and cried some more.
After that I cried some more.
I didnt know really why, but if I had
to put it into words, it was the word
regret.
Still the same regret I alluded to
in a previous blog about my God
given talents, and what I'd done
with them all my life.
Actually, as another side note
to all this, I get all choked up anytime
I see Excellence on stage, especially
with musicians, although it can be a
play or something like Blue Man Group
or anything that is a performing art.
I have to seriously choke it back...
or I'm a blithering mushball in public!
I really dont know why, except I know
what it takes to be there, and know
that it was and is my destiny to be there
as well. There's something so deep
about it, I cant explain it, even as I try!
Even though I've played many
instruments, and done many things
in my life that many would consider a
full and achievement oriented life,
I know in my heart of hearts I, whether
through immaturity, rebellion, wanting to
please my so called "friends", or
addiction, I always stuck to the easier
road, and never really paid the full dues
to experience the fullness and take
what was rightfully mine.
It could also just be my love and passion
for entertaining, or whatever, but I wish
it would subside!....It's like a curse!
Although my parents were supportive,
my household was emotional and
dysfunctional.
If I got myself to practice, it was
not really very good, since I could
play well enough not to really learn
to read like I should've!
I could also draw, and draw so well that
I could capture a likeness at a young age.
I remember missing class as a little boy,
because the school would have me out
in the hall drawing a picture for the
school bulletin board.
I also regret listening to my school
guidance counselor in one conversation,
because she discouraged me from being
a medical illustrator, saying that it would
be replaced by computers, and it would
be obsolete by the time I was an adult!
Nothing could be further from the truth!
Thinking about all this yesterday made
mewant to tell parents around the world,
(1) Be your childrens best friends!
Encourage them to follow their bliss
and chase their own dreams! Make them
realize the power in starting young,
and continue with their talents through
their lifetimes! "Water" them like plants
with love, encouragement and support.
(2) Although you should be the kind
of parent that makes them practice,
never make practicing a 'punishment",
encourage with praise and admiration!
(3) Usually, the talent or interest
they will have comes out early, and this
is so important! Look at Tiger Woods,
who through his talent, and his
Ultimately supportive Father rules the
world because it's hard to beat 30
years of practicing something when your
opponent is 34!
(4) Teach your children good habits
with money, especially saving a little bit
every week or month. How I wish my
parents taught me a good relationship
with money! The only thing I ever saw
or heard about money was difficulty and
arguing. That one simple talent is
probably the most important
talent I can think of.....slow and long
term investing, either by practicing or
saving!
I believe 70% of this country lives
paycheck to paycheck.....living on the
edge of disaster or ruin! THAT is a
terrifying stat!
Bad habits, bad results!
(4) It seems like the right of passage
since the early sixties when the whole
"Revolution" to authority and the
"Establishment" was to use drugs and
get pregnant at an early age.
Now all most children seem destined
for is a Masters Degree in self destruction
with binge drinking, life altering drugs,
and smoking, and rebelling against
the idea that life itself is wonderful.....
and exciting enough!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After hours of this pain and retrospection,
I came to some conclusions that I can
only hope to Live by...and use here at
Tools.
Like Maya Angelou said....."You've done
the best that you could with what you
had, and now you can do the best you
can with what you know now...."
(paraphrased)
It's all I can do.....I know! Learn from
the past, and take action in the future.
The bitter reality that TIME and my
YOUTH has past is just is what it is!
There's nothin I can do about it!
I also have to learn to not only accept
myself now, but to accept my past,
all the way back. There's no way I
can go back, and redo anything,
except by changing my future.
Also, if I took a poll of everyone on
the earth, and asked them if they had
any regrets, I'm sure I would have a
100% result....yes......we all have em!
Its time to grow up, even at 51....!
Even the Bible says that Jesus learned
by what He suffered (as He grew up)
There's only two things really that we
can react to and make decisions from....
pain and pleasure.
How I wish I can find my Bliss.....
decide what it is, and stay steady,
and really follow through with
what I've set before myself!
"There's no such thing as downtime,
No such thing as freetime, no such
thing as sparetime, all you've got is lifetime ....GO!"
Henry Rollins
I also just saw the "Bucket List",
a movie with Jack Nicholson
and MorganFreeman, a movie
about two old fogies who decide
to make a list of everything that
they wanted to do in their life before
they pass on, and they leave family
and friends and pursue the list,
including making up with family
members and jumping
out of planes.
Perhaps with Tools, I'll make my
"Bucket List"and do every single
one of them earlier, maybe more
than once!
Perhaps I should make a "To
Done List".....and see what I've
done in my life, and give myself
some credit!
Thank You for "listening" !
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Tags: music, Lessons, tools, Smilinsteve, pot, pregnant, life, Habits, money, parents, grow up, music art, drawing, Regret
