"Slow Down, You're Moving Too Fast" !

Its been 6 days since I smoked

(self medicated)

My queasiness has decreased,

but I'm still feeling it when I actually

eat. It makes it difficult to eat at all.

One thing about pot, it keeps you

in the "munchies"!

I've been awake since 3 AM or so....

I've got a 5 hour drive each way today

to go to my step daughters wedding.

I can't even afford to think about it.

I don't know how I ever thought I

could afford my habit.

I'm unprepared.

My sense of duty to my daughter

Becky is driving me there for her.

I've got to be a come through guy!

My Inner Voice is saying things to me...

corrections, or Truths that it knows

are the PRESCRIPTIONS for my current

state of affairs.

All I have to do is listen and supply

the man.

All I have to do is go through the

initial pain of change, and fear, and

through the comfort of the easy

way out.

There is no other way.

I'm grateful for Tools....it's a focuser

and a refuge of support and mutual

effort!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was one practice in the "Quaker"

like church I was in for 11 or so years

that was very relieving and focusing.

It was how they "Waited on The Lord"

Three times a week, we went into a

large plain austere room, and sat in

silence for two hours. I did this for

more than a decade. Even the children

from new born to teenagers could sit

with us silently and calmly.

After learning to relax, and feel the

rat race of the world slowly die out of

me, (when I first came to them) I

could sit and clear my mind and heart

and simply wait, and listen for the,

as they called it, the Still Small Voice

in the heart.

Sometimes someone would stand

and speak their heart, as prompted

by this "stirring", whether it was the

pastor, or a member of the body.

I think a lot about this time, and

remember how I was focused, and

remember how this time produced

answers in my heart for various

problems in my life.

First of all....I myself, and all the

clutter and emotion was gone.

Instead,as I got used to doing this

"excercise" I realized that I could best

"see" my way through, or hear my way

to a clearer answer or "pathway"

for my Life.

My emotions and fleshly voice was

more and more "stilled".

When I first met these people as a

convert, they could sit on a porch

quietly and talk pleasantly or just

sit and listen to the river and birds.

I would almost explode out of my

chair + have to walk or talk a lot,

or whatever...the RAT RACE and

the spirit of the world was strongly

with me and part of my fiber.

It took me months to relax, and I

noticed that I would exhale and

calm down the tension of my body

many times a day. They all smiled

between each other, knowing what

I was going through, and how I was

like "spit on a hot griddle".

After years of no TV and radio, and

quieting the world out of my heart,

I could sit still and think on one

thing calmly for hours. It was then

that I learned to paint, tend bees,

stay in my budget, learned two more

languages and raised a family.

I loved it.

Now of course, for reasons that

dont matter here, I'm back in the spirit

of the rat race and all that it entails.

I can plainly see the difference.

Perhaps as I grow here with Tools

and the collective body of freinds

that guide and encourage I can slow

and stop for "minute", and take that

deep breathe again !

Perhaps add meditation to my

life again. There's much more to this

"growth" and "introspection" than

meets the eye.

I know I can become more honest

with myself and prepared to make

real changes as I go through this

course if I slow down.

Stop, Take a Deep Breathe. Relax.

There's so much more tension and

stress to every day life than we

imagine.

Relax.

Peace.

Calm Down.

Smile Peacefully.

Dont vomit words.

Dont act hastily.

Commit to being in nature

frequently, and listen to

the "stillness".

It's a great place to flourish

and realize deeper Truths and

Answers.

It's always there for us, and

it heals and strengthens.

When I first started Tools, I

woke early, did the lesson,

and wrote the blog, and then

made a conscious effort to "visit"

with others by reading blogs and

cheering my fellow Toolers along.

Perhaps now, I will first add

stopping, and waiting. Clearing my

mind and heart, and feel the tension

disperse  again before I charge into

Tools again!

It's more Elegant, resourseful, and

Clearer!

One more deep breathe!

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Tags: peace, quiet, Waiting On The Lord, tools, relax, stillness, meditation, deep breathe