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Sunshine_Girl
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Birth Date: Thu, Sep 18

Place of residence:
Small Town Saskatchewan, Canada (map)

I am: Single & Not Dating

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Jobs: artist/clutter consultant/gardener/retired lady


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Member Since: 09/29/07
Last Login: 12/29/09
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  Sunshine_Girl

Sun, Dec 30 10:44 AM

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One day my daughter was critical of the time I spend doing things for other people.  I often don't get my own stuff done but I manage to find the time to help friends and neighbours with the tasks that they struggle with. 

I guess, that since I procrastinate, it is my biggest flaw, that she is right.  But I don't see it as wrong.  This week I hugged an old friend that needed to feel grounded cause his mom was very ill.  I sat with his mom and held her hand and talked while he went out for a coffee and a smoke.  I helped a lady clean sweep her house cause she had invited company for the holiday and then got sick.  My own house was less than tidy, cause I had no energy left for me.  I took my mom shopping in the city, cause she doesn't drive.  I cooked a big pot of rich thick turkey soup and put it into freezer jars so an old man could have food ready for him to eat.  I kept watch over a neighbours house while they went for a vacation.  I fed a ladys pets when she was visiting her family far away.  I visited in the old folks home because my friend lives too far away to come be with her mom.  I helped my ill daughter remember her pills and I even ran errands for her father (my x) because she was to ill to care for him and he is recovering from surgery. 

I have a difficult time not helping out and yet I know that financially and emotionally I should learn to care for myself first.

How do I draw the line?  Do I even need to?

In a way this is good for me. I have other people in my life and otherwise I would be alone all the time.  It is confusing.  How do I know when a virtue becomes a vice?  When doing the right thing crosses the line into being the wrong thing.  Does this attitude mean I am co-dependant and need to always do other peoples stuff and not my own?

 

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Sounds like you do so much for others and do not let others do for you in return!!! Maybe doing for the others is you're return!!! You should do what makes you feel good. Maybe try to do for yourself the things that need done in the first few hours of you're morning and then feel free to give yourself to the other ones you love to help. I also am quite alot like you but, I am now trying to remember not to lose myself along the way. I need to do for me also. Keep up the love and support for others hopefully someone will remember what you did for them when it is you're turn to need a kindness in return. If not... you still felt love and concern in what you did in the first place. TINK