I'm here

 Well, I got all that done that I needed to do. Yeah! And I came upon an opportunity. My friend smokes and I'm allergic. She has always smoked outside of her home. But late, after working on my truck, she and I were hanging out and she started smokeing inside next to me. unfortunately, I didn't say anything. I was first shocked because she never smoked in her home before and I've know her for about 6 years. And second, I felt I would be imposeing on her. ( I was raised to the extreme of never imposing on people. Even after all this time I still feel guilty for drinking or eating anything at someone's house even when they offer.) Third, I hadn't been around smoke in a while, and thought maybe it would be o.k. Wrong! The next morning, I had a sore throat and by that night my sinues were so messed up. I'm still trying to get over it and now coughing and acheing in my chest. So my opportunity is that next time, that I'm suppose to hang out with her. I have to find a way to tactfully tell her I won't be able to hang out if she smokes in an enclosed room with me. Ugh! Other than that things are getting better. I am finding some difficulty in remembering to smile and say that stuff about being in the game 6 X a day. I also have been finding the more positive, I get the more negative my friend/roommate is getting. At first, I thought it was just me noticeing it more but unfortunately it's not. I tried getting him into the toolstolife, he'll do some but as most things if it doesn't help immedidately he doesn't want anything really to do with it. I came upon an affirmation that does help me, 'Today, I will not try to change or improve anybody but me." I know it sounds a bit selfish but I am way to codependent and it has started helping me stop trying to enable him so much. I'm really not sure what I'm going to do about the situation. It is hard trying to change the interaction with someone when it's been going this way for a few years. I still haven't been able to get over feeling responsible for him or any of my friends. And in ways, it is makeing it hard for me to remain positive and change for the better. So anybody else finding that the more you improve on yourself and get more positive that someone close is not really happy about it? If, so what have you done about it? Again, thanks for all the cheers and advice. Have a great day everyone!

Comment (1) View (167) Show support

Tags: