Yes All Relationships are An Opportunity for us to heal our Family of Origin issues.
No two people come together by chance. We both carry similiar family of origin issues and this is our opportunity to heal. When we recognize the patterns and can begin to love ourselves unconditionaly we break the cycle We all want to be seen and heard. We are all looking for love. This love we seek is something we must find within ourselves before we can begin to reflect this out to others. As we understand this concent and use resources and tools to change our outlooks and change our own programing we can change our reality. Each and every one of us is capable of taking responsibility for ourselves. This is very different from self blame. It is taking control and being the creator of our lives. This is an inner strenght and desire we can find inside each and everyone of us. Our thoughts create our reality. It is possible to find peace amongst the chaos. This begins as we heal our own minds.
It is possible to feel peace when our lives may seem like they are falling apart.
These days are becoming more of what I am experiencing since I began taking responsibility and being accountable for me.
I now pat myself on the back and take the credit for creating this inner peace and having this reflected back to me are the rewards and a progress check from the Universe.
Life is a constant up and down, and so having experienced almost 2 weeks of this calm, things were going too good to be true,
I also knew that for the moment anyway, when I get my opportunities to heal my family of origin, they come all at once. Some days I get 5 or 6 different stories, coming from different angles, and It feels so good to have this challenge because I now see it as a learning opportunity for me.I also feel my fear too.
Yesterday was one of those days, 6 different things from 6 different directions, and every signal one of them was a TRIGGER for me.
How did I handle it?
I questioned each and every one of them.
What is this opportunity here to show me?
What is the message in this for me?
Why am I getting a Hit from this?
What quality about this person Bugs me?
And the most important question of All
Can I find that feeling, or Quality in MYSELF?
Can I EMBRACE THAT PART OF MYSELF?
Can I accept that part of ME?
These are the questions I need to answer.
These are the feelings I need to FEEL
What we resist persist!!!
YES, I may not be able to at the moment, and yes I am willing to find and embrace that part of me. This is the most important aspect of the relationships in my life, and the ones which come to me.
EVERY single person is mirroring to me, exactly what I am projecting out. This is an excellent opportunity for me to change my projection, and embrace all parts of me, and accept myself as being Perfect exactly as I am at this moment in time.
What do I find when I do this from love, and compassion?
The situation is diffused......once I stop resisting this part in me, and accepting it.......I no longer get the same hits from what once used to trigger me. I become person number five the one who doesn't notice or react to it.
Rita Anderson
Staying out of my own stories when I remember......
comments
failure
my relationship of 25 years has just failed, perhaps without hope of recovery, because of my dependence on porn. Our relationship shape themselves around our issues (co-dependence I guess its called) til personal resilience calls time-out and then it all falls apart.
It's hard to go there.
I agree that our relationships are mirrors, but it's much easier to blame the other person than to see the problem in yourself.
I have been trying this idea on lately, when I am upset or unhappy with someone's behavior and really trying to decide if it is a trait I have. Quite revealing actually.
Thanks for putting this out there. I'll be interested to see the responses. You might put it on the relationships group thread and see what shows up.
Yes, It is easier to blame the other person
Thanks Motivated Mom, I agree with you.
It takes work, and working on ourselves is always the hardest, and yet the most rewarding.
I thought I had put this on the relationships group thread? If not How do I go there?
As long as we are Living Our Ego is doing it's job in keeping us safe
Our Ego, some call it the little green gremlin, and others call it by which ever name they choose.
It plays an important role in our lives. It is a part of us that we have known since the day we were born, and it speaks to us constantly.
It is our friend, and when we recognize the role it has played in our lives, we can hear it and acknowledge what it is saying to us and then we can choose to see it's purpose. Our ego isn't used to change, and at times it doesn't understand and so it continues to do it's job.
Learning to see the role it plays, and the comments it makes we can learn to change and practice makes perfect.
Listen to the comments your ego makes, and then decide how and what you like about those comments and what you want to change.
The more you practice, the better you'll be at trusting yourself, and taking control of your own life, and healing your wounded child and finding ways to nurture the wounds that were created by you to experience the lessons you chose.
You have the power to do this when you work through your Fears, and allow yourself the opportunity to Feel the feelings and emotions certain situations are making you feel. There is a reason you are feeling them.
By feeling them, you create the space to heal and experience life in a new way.