Cheesemeister:

without feeling

Seems there are at least a few of us going through this living our life without feeling thing. I read another guy's profile and he said the same thing. I feel like that most of the time. Doing the crap I have to do has even killed the joy in the things I like to do. I generally feel like I'm just doing the things I want to do out of spite, to thumb my nose at the life I've been forced into by necessity. I'm working on changing it but I've never been a patient person so it never feels like it can come soon enough.

Don't make the mistake I did at 30--feeling that 30 was too old to make a change. In spite of what this awful youth culture we live in says, 30 is NOT old. It's an age with a lot of potential. As, really, is every age. It's tough to make a change but the one good thing about feeling as you do right now is that it can serve as motivation to do so. I just want to wish you luck so that hopefully at 40 you can look at your hands and think "I'm still young."

symmetry:

Your EXCITING Adventure of REBIRTH!

My life went through DRAMATIC changes about 6 years ago that seemed frightening and with no guarantees or signs of things to look forward to or hope for... but I felt much like you described in your blog. MY HEART HURT for you literally ached in my chest reading your blog. Our bodies and emotions and our life I believe gives us signs, symptoms, signals, messages to guide us to our highest good in life and best interest for our wellbeing... we can choose to go that route or not but while we are not in the right job or life situations or relationships or etc that are best for us, we FEEL IT and it SHOWS inside and out. Things like that are energy VAMPIRES sucking the LIGHT and LIFE right out of us.

Although making major changes or even small ones can be scary or feel sad or like you said.. as if mourning the loss or death of life as you currently know it.. try to think of it from another perspective....

Envision this....{someone is in the dark, like a dark tunnel, in discomfort or even pain, they are confused, maybe frightened, they hear the dr.s and their loved ones nearby, their words and sense their emotions, they see a light and feel pulled and drawn to the light and gravitate towards it naturally more and more as the light grows bigger, the pain or discomfort slips away and they are blinded by an overwhelming bright light and completely covered in a warm soft sensation and feel totally surrounded by love, excitement and joy now, it is the best feeling beyond anything they had ever imagined.}

Was that person dying and going to the other side (for those who believe that) or were they a baby being born into this life?

See the similarities?

Sometimes when we go through a confusing, frightening or painful change it does feel like a death.. but REALLY even if it is of one thing.. it is STILL an exciting adventure and REBIRTH of your evolving self and better life!

YOU ARE FREE NOW... even if it doesn't feel like it yet.... when you are ready to move on in this life to a new career or improvements in yourself or your life to give your contentment, fullfillment, live your passions and joys and ask yourself what you most want to do with your life to not live with regrets at the end.... then work on taking even baby steps towards that.... even one baby step at a time... is so liberating and empowering.

I hurt FOR you AND I am excited for you at the same time.

Hang in there.

You can do it, keep going!

oldangelsue:

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep

Dearest Vale:

Your blog broke my heart too and yet I sense a breakthrough for you as a result of what you felt.  Perhaps, the death is of the live you have lived to date and a new career is waiting for you now that you are aware of this need for more.  I wish you success and happiness in finding something more rewarding to do in your career.