Member Since: 07/01/11
Last Login: 11/30/11
Program Progress: Day 92
Don't beat yourself up just watch your tongue. Because you think it does not mean you have to say it.
Also try not to get into situations that make you lash out or say awlful things. Because sometimes it's best to avoid these totally rather than try to control them.
Also say away from topics or people that push your buttons or make you react in this way. Yes, you come all over that it's all your fault and you are to blame but from my view there was something that made you reaction. It may have been a topic, a misunderstanding, a gesture anything could trigger you.
Something happened that made you react that way. So keep with the program and notice things that set you off. Don't worry if you think it's silly or stupid - we all think we over react but do be aware. Then ask why do I behave this way.
For me there are certain things that people say and I hit the roof then afterwards I'm like why the heck did I react that way? Why did I over reaction. Normally because I took it personally, or it's about something I dislike. etc
Also regarding relationships though you may not believe it - it's a two way thing. Your man must love something about you. People don't do relationships out of pity. Believe you me. Everyone gets something from being with a partner that benefits them - no matter now small or little. If he is with you then you are good enough for him however this is about you. This is for you. Keep on with tools and be amazed at the changes. It takes time and commitment but it's a pretty simple just check in everyday - like checking mail.
Good work and keep on.
Focus on what you learned from the situation and the good things in your life and move on. We are all human and make mistakes. The fact that you are doing tools says thgat you want to be a better person. You are still going to fall down occasionally like we all do, but just pick yourself up and focus on what you want and your tools checklist.
Be kind to yourself... you are worth it! Have a wonderful week!
Knowing your inner voice was trying to get your attention is a start. It is there. We all have to learn to recognize it. Out of curiosity, had you been drinking when all this happened? I know how alcohol can turn tongues loose and explode into embarrassing situations.
And Don't be too harsh on yourself. Sometimes I think friends should be more concerned about our behavior when bad circumstances occur, rather than get critical. Just when we crave attention or forgiveness, they don't seem to be there anymore. Your boyfriend sounds like a true friend. Apologize and tell him how much you appreciate him. Then get back to Tools and move forward. Don't wallow in the past. You have a great future ahead of you! Sending you a hug!
I can relate to a few aspects of this story! Making a fool of ourselves is something we've all done and taking responsiblity for your behavior is mature and a step in the right direction. Good luck :)