A Ghost Visit?

I was waked up in the middle of the night from a sound sleep by a feeling of immense peace. I felt as I woke up as if all the tension, worry, details, goings-on...everything washed away quietly and someone...not me...felt tremendous and absolute Peace. That someone was perfectly, completely soothed and at rest in their heart, mind and soul. It was a phenomenol feeling. Impossible I think to gain in real life. By that I mean, I "knew" in my sleepy mind that someone had passed away, and crossed my path in their passing. I knew that person was utterly, utterly ok. 

I don't say I "believe" in spirits coming by in the night to rattle someone awake long enough to share reassurance. Believing or not, I do know it happened. That is, I was awakened by deep calm and peace. Greater by far than the peace of a beautiful forest or gliding along underwater or standing stunned by a rainbow or looking over at a beloved. Greater than these. More perfect. Seemingly brought by a person. 

But then of course I had to wonder who that person was. I thought of my mother, who has been ill for some time. Many years ago she died, briefly, and she had that experience so many have described, of the light, the sensation of relief and peace, the happiness and calm. You know, the one science says doesn't exist? A voice told her "you must go back," She didn't want to. The voice assured her life is so very fast. She'd be back in a matter of seconds.  Happily for me she did come back, or I'd have lost my mother when I was only a child.

The tremendous sense of peace passed, and I fell back asleep. You can't really phone someone in the middle of the night and ask if they just died. Not even your mother. Well I could. But no. I went back to sleep. If she had died--if you can accept this for a moment--she was fine. 

In the morning I phoned her. Having forgotten why, I didn't ask if she had just died, but chatted with her briefly before she paused, and said she had sad news. A family friend, someone she's known a year or two and I've met only briefly, but such a lovely man, passed away last night.

It was then I remembered the ...dream...or...whatever.  Mom believes people go around and say goodbye, in spirit, before they move on. Why he would take the trouble to come and see me, and in so profound a way--I will never forget that feeling I think--when I hardly knew him, I don't know. Maybe people connect at some level we don't even realize. Or maybe it was so I could tell mom he is fine. He's utterly happy and fine. I guess.

You see my uncertainty. I am certain of the feeling I had; I've never felt anything like that before, to that magnitude. The how and why of it...I don't know. We try to make "meaning" of things when we could just know them and let that be enough.

He was such a gentle and good person. I'll post a memorial in the Memorial Garden Support group. But I'm posting here something else. A sharing about ...the intense mystery and beauty of life, and death too. And the sweet, rare moments when we're aligned with that mystery, and touched by it.  I believe we should not disregard or explain it away. I'll just let it be something quite strange, beyond what I know, without meaning I can think of. Something just beautiful and good.

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Tags: afterlife, spirit, peace, memorial, mystery, beauty, Good