had a free trial run so I went ahead and filled out their questionnaire. This"internet" dating idea, I donno. Dating is all about intimacy. Face-to-face interaction. The awkward, fabulous and unpredictable spontaneous talk. A wink. A stammer. A blush. You miss all that, on line.
But anyway....it was FUN. I'm impressed by their software and the weird accuracy in summarizing my personality. It's strange, in fact, that so few questions can accurately size me up. I want to be all complex and mysterious! But no, I fit a category, says this computer. They gave me "matches." THAT was fun too. It is amazing how much we reveal about ourselves, if the other is paying attention, in a few sentences. For instance, one man mentioned, twice, he values "obedience" in a woman. (yeh. That was obviously a mix-up and got into my pile by mistake). Another guy mentioned FOUR times how humble and simple he is. Okay. I believe you, if you want me to that badly. Then there's the guy who "rejected" me because "she hasn't answered my message!" Uh...you only wrote two hours ago. And then, there were five guys...FIVE...I know I would have a blast on a date with any of them. I'd feel that tremendous relaxed, happy ease I feel with people who "fit" my world view.
I'm not going to spend the money to join. It's expensive! Besides they want you to be "serious" about finding a mate. Hey I just tackled my filing system. I'm defining my Identity on Day 67. I'm way not ready for serious romance. But I really feel happy, knowing there ARE wonderful men out there with whom I might be a "match." I'm sorry to say, "Not ready yet." I'll miss out on some really neat people. I need to be ready. I need to be as fully and wonderfully and happily ME as I can, before I seek someone to share me with.
I dated someone six years in New Orleans and you know, there's no point dating someone for six years when you know you don't have a future. He was an adorable person and completely, 100% not available for a serious committment. He'd scream and run away if the Ghost of Christmas"intimacy" showed up. SIX years. Why why why do we do that???
My eharmony profile might be useful, though, in definition and finding of "me." So I appreciate the opportunity, eharmony, to see what you are about. And....here's wishing those lovely human beings an answer, to their desires.
comments
been there
I did eharmony and highly reccommend it to all just for the survey. I was not as lucky as you I only got 3 hits and all three live on the other side of the country from me. I didn't join either didn't have the bucks. But I did buy 3 of warrens books that are great.
zenda
Waren?
Oh that's fun to hear about. Except the three matches impossibly far away, part. Whose Warren?
Been there did that!
HAHA! Dr. Warren from the site.... he is apparently behind all the wisdom!
I did join... I did the 3 month trial.... just out of a serious relationship and took a chance. I had lots of matches, but as Wordbird said, I wasn't really ready for a commitment. I have always been in serious relationships though, so it was nice to just casually date for awhile. I don't think the whole internet dating is necessarily a bad thing, but meeting in "real life" is SO much better. That way you can really read the person and get a feel for how they carry themselves.
Casual Dating
You know that's an interesting thought. I have never done any "casual dating." Like you it's been serious relationship, or none.
I read an article once about a women who decided to do FORTY casual dates. She said it takes that many to really understand with whom you connect, and why. The article was hilarious. GLAD you had fun!
Hey you...
I met my beloved husband, Eric, on Match.com. I just moved down to California and my co-workers suggested I get on there. They made a bet that I'd find someone. I didn't think it would work. I went on found Eric and we met at the beach.
The rest is history. We've been together ever since. It definitely was a match made in heaven. I often wonder how we managed without each other...lol.
Sure as heck would have been easier to meet way before our first marriages...but I guess there is a reason for everything. Sure makes you appreciate the one for you after the bad ones.
Hey our friend Aric (kermitboy) is writing a novel about a guy that goes on lots of "casual" dates. Maybe it was 10 or 20...not sure but it's along that line. I think it may be 10. You should ask him about it. It's pretty funny. I've read a few chapters and it's cute.
Steph
whoops...nix with "cute."
I'd like to hear his rendition of the dating character. (Just FYI "cute"...no. It's a word we ladies use a lot and i'm pretty sure every man on earth...or most of them...just don't understand what a great word it is. "Cute" they take as demeaning. Heck I might too, if someone said something I write is "cute."
Since you are working on language and the meaning of words. Not to pick. A neighbor told my friend the exterior door he just designed, cut, polished and installed is "cute." He's been grumbling about it ever since.) I like your comment,and interesting "how we met" story!