I was a great poker player, making 6 figures a year.  Than the US goverment banned online poker one year ago.  I've gotten myself mixed up and drugs and have lost my passion for poker.  I've lost my desire for a lot of things.  I'm starting to turn my life around and feel like this would be a good place to start.  

Professional Poker player.  Was driven to succeed and am now embarrassed I live in a country that has banned my livelihood.  I grew up loving sports and turned to substance abuse after graduating college and missing the rush and adrenaline of sports.  I've had one true love, but that was 6 years ago.  Since than I have never let anyone to close and dated women for a month or two here and their before cutting off contact.  I'm not very close with my family and felt lost when my dog of 18 years died in my arms.  I felt closest to him.  I had an unhappy childhood and have been able to block out most of those memories.  I look very normal and in control from the outside and feel as though I'm an excellent actor at making everyone think I'm ok, but on the inside I am a mess.  Too much anxiety, depression and overall dislike of myself.  

I'd like to figure out what I want to do post poker career.  I'd like to get into a meaningful relationship with a gf.  I'd like to lose the anxiety and all of the physical symptoms that come with it.  I'd like to feel successful and proud of who I am, instead of disgusted.  I want to travel freely, and enjoy life without needing a pill to feel joy.