I am a lost 26 yr. old female trying to recover from a childhood trauma so i can move on with my life while working on my current problems, low self-esteem, depression, anxiety,etc as well as day to day problems and keep my relationships with people who love and support me. Unfortunately, i have no friends. I am a recovering drug and alcohol abuser, and all the people i know are still that way. I've been buying self-help workbooks, and am currently waiting to get into some group therapies at a mental health clinic to give me the kind of structure and support i need. I am on Soc. Sec. Disability and do not work so i have too much free time to sit around and dwell on myself and my problems. But I am ready to peel back all of my layers, become completely vulnerable, for i feel that is where i need to start at to start inserting tools and advice to change my life in a healthy, meaningful one. Good luck to me.

I was molested when I was 11 yrs. old by my brother. I started running away from home and using and abusing drugs and alcohol to take the pain away, because my parents didn't, or couldn't believe me. I let people walk all over me, i created low self-esteem, which led to depression, no feeling of self-worth. I have attempted suicide about 8-10 times since i was 13 all the way up to the present. My brother is now in Prison (I finally feel justified) however he is there for heroin and credit card fraud. My therapist wanted me to write him a letter, not to send it to him, but just to get out how he made and makes me feel, and basically just get it all out. Well, i impulsively sent the letter to him in prison about 2 weeks ago, and i haven't heard back, im not expecting to, but I felt that that was something i needed to acknowledge to him so i could start moving past it.

My future includes recovery and wellness. I hope to claim my self-esteem, keep working with my therapist and psychiatrist and soaking up all i can in support groups to live a happy, meaningful life. Also, I am a brand new Aunt so I need to get better for my niece. I am still quite pessimistic, but i have more optimism now than i ever have, I just gotta keep trying, even when life throws them hard and fast balls.