I grew up on a ranch outside of a coal mining town in Wyoming.  My parents had me when they were still kids themselves.  I lived w/my mom until I was seven.  Most of the time through those years I was cared for by my grandmothers because my mom was a druggie (emphasis on the was).  I moved out to the ranch w/my dad when I was in the second grade.  He remarried not long after that to provide me w/a stable mother figure.  She was far from stable (mentally).  My childhood was mostly uneneventful.  I loved the outdoors.  I loved to read.  And to write, both prose and poetry.  In high school is when life changed.  I discovered I was a lesbian.  I fell in love w/the 'rebel' of our school.  So I came out at 15 to a school of 300 closed minded, small town kids.  Got involved with partying and dipped my toes into the drug scene through  the girl I was in love with.  She jerked me around through our entire high school year.  She knew she had power over me because I loved her and she used it, she used me.  Until her parents finally sent her to rehab.  She came back changed, better.  And our relationship developed into an actual relationship.  At the end of our junior year we were told that only one of us could come back the next year.  That we caused too much of a disturbance in the school w/our lifestyle.  So we both left.  Moved out of our parents houses and in together and graduated from an alternative school.  After that we moved to Colorado for a year.  It was probably the best time of my life.  But we moved back here.  So that she could break up with me (which I didn't know at the time) and I would be around my family and have somewhere to go.  And then she broke up w/me.  And I lost my mind.  I went down a bad road.  I stopped really living.  Like a zombie I just went through the motions.  It took me two years to put myself back together.  Therapists, anti-depressants, anger management.  And I finally went to college.  Only for a year.  But being away and pursuing my future is what finally put that final piece of me back into place.  And becoming myself again is what finally got me her back.  Yes I'm back w/my ex because I truly believe that we are meant to be together.  She is the yin to my yang.  And that is where my story is at right now...

Update: Well that is where I was until I had an episode...again.  I got angry.  We got into a fist fight, I went to jail, lost girlfriend and my place to live.  That is where I am right now.  Getting better.  Focusing on my own future.

Anger

Jealousy

Fits of rage and violence

Depression

Cutting

Focusing on the past

Letting my future slip away

Inner peace

Stable relasionship

College