I'm ready to sign up for the challenge of eating raw food for one day, four times in the next 30 days.  Having been there before, I know the rewards that it will bring in increased metabolism, extra energy, feeling lighter and healthier, glowing skin, improved sex life, etc....

I'm feeling excited about taking control of my eating habits once again, and although I know myself well enough to know I won't be able to keep it up forever, I do know that each time I do it I make another breakthrough and can keep up the good work for longer.

The revised goal was to raise $2,900.  I didn't quite make it in the 90 days - I still have $144 to go, but there I was thinking I couldn't even save $1,000.  Boy did I underestimate myself or what! 

That works out to be about 140 hours of packing shelves. 

I am going rather well with my physical goal as well (think that may have something to do with all the shelf stacking as well!).

My other long term goal looks like becoming a reality as well next year.  I am going to have an exhibition of my work.  I was expecting to have it in the small alcove to the main gallery, but I have been asked to have it in the main gallery - hence the need to have it next year - so I can get a couple more pieces done for it!

I think I may need to start raising the bar as far as my goals go - what do you think!

We have been having stacks of problems on our computer with popups the last week so put a higher level of protection on - doesn't seem to have stopped the popups, but when the colour screen popped up I got the message - do you want to allow popups from this site - well I said yes (of course!)... 

big mstake - I have now lost my whole blog and have to start again!!!

Some days are diamonds... and then there is today

You conned me back to reply to your message, and I remembered how good it felt to be helping others! (actually, this deserves !!!!!!!!!!!)

Can't guarantee I will be around as frequently as before, but just maybe I won't be away for as long as I just have been.

So that's a big smile from me! 

And while it is true that I have had life slugging away at me from all sides at the moment, and know that isn't an excuse, I have perhaps still been using it as an excuse. 

I have made a start of fixing some of those annoying things that have been getting to me in very negative ways (have been applying for jobs so I can escape the negativity of my [day job] boss), but am finding it very difficult to remain serene and in control when I can do nothing to change what is happening around me. 

At my night fill job, I give it absoultely everything - I really mean 100% - because I really love the physical challenge of it and finding new ways of being efficient at it.  One of the other girls there, the bosses are often compaining about because she is so slow and hasn't caught on how to do her job properly, and they say they just won't call her in to work as often - but come knock off time, it is always me that is going home and she always gets to stay back and get the overtime work.  I am starting to feel very discriminated against and it makes it very difficult for me to keep my attitude positive and pleasant. 

And yes, before you say anything, I know it is my problem and not hers, but that doesn't make the vinegar taste any sweeter.

Sure I get things done - I've just finished painting the computer room and spruced it up, and I have got half way (okay, let's be honest) a bit of the way through cleaning out my wardrobe, but I just don't have the inspiration or the motivation to go at 100%.

The garden is watered but the weeds are growing, the clothes are washed but the bed's unmade - the lights are on, but I'm not sure if anyone is home. 

I know that the more I do, the more I will feel like doing, but getting started just seems so hard.

Now can I remember what I was saying?

It gave me immense pleasure to go to the supermarket and buy her a gift voucher - over the years of being a single mum, many's the time she fed us both or bought a bottle of milk, or gave me a little something to tide me over.

The joy of being able to give to someone who really needs it actually swells my heart and makes me feel positively wonderful inside. 

It also helped to get me into the Christmas mood - something I have been a tad slow at this year.

For the past week they have been the particularly nasty strain of skinus bananas sp. continuum complaintus!  And it seems no matter which way I turn there are more laying around just waiting to catch me out. 

Guess I need to spray them generously with some of that  spray with the quaint name of "my attitude is my decision".  I'm about sure it is the only thing that's going to eradicate them.

Now I am fearful each time I think about it because maybe I am going backwards, maybe I will never finish Tools, maybe deep down I just don't want to change no matter how good the results may be, maybe I will just beat myself up until the day I go meet the one who created me (isn't that me? - well it won't be if you don't finish Tools). 

Maybe I just need to note that I have been through a couple of big weeks, putting in some pretty impressive hours... and that I literally have not had a spare 20 minutes to log into Tools for five days...  maybe I just need to chill out and not get so worked up about it all, and remember that I am heaps more improved than the day I first started tools! 

...and maybe I just need to go get some sleep because it is well after one and I am definitely not the night owl type and I have only been averaging 4-6 hours of kip a night for the last fortnight. 

Tomorrow is my designated Tools day, so I will submit all the answers I have scrawled out on paper and then see how many holes that leaves in the last couple of exercises

So good night all - "I'm having a great sleep!" 

Zzz Zzz Zzz Zzz Zzz...