I was brought up in Stockport and went to the local secondary school. Both my parents worked and I was left to look after my 3 younger brothers. It was my job to make sure they got to school on time and got home from school OK. I also had to make sure everything was clean & tidy and that the tea was ready or at least cooking before my parents got home from work. I was one of the first kids that was affected by the raising of the school leaving age from 15 to 16 which didn't please my parents. They were even less pleased when I asked to stay on at school to take my O levels. They refused point blank. They insisted that I left school asap and got myself a job and started bringing money into the house. because of this the school teachers lost interest in me as they couldn't see the point of teaching me more than they needed to. My parents did relent to some extent in that they let me go to college to study TV and Radio engineering but even this proved to be a fools errand as they were only going to teach me about black & white TVs. To learn about colour TVs meant coming back in the second year on day release which meant I needed a job with a TV repair company - problem was nobody wanted black and white TV repairmen, they all wanted colour. So the course went down the pan and I ended up bouncing about from pointless job to job, knowing I was far better than this. During this period, I enquired about joining the RAF. I took a few tests and was accepted as an electronics mechanic working on ground based radar systems. They told me that had I taken my O levels then I could have become a technician but though my aptitude tests showed I was capable of this my qualifications prevented it. It took me another 9 months before I formally joined. The whole procedure upset my father. He always wanted me to join the navy so he wasn't best pleased with me anyway. I started in 1976 and moved around the country going from station to station until 1978 when I was sent to Troodos in Cyprus. I fell in love with the Island. I learned a lot job wise whilst I was there and was sent back to UK early to take up technician training. It was at this point I found out that they (UK training centre) had wanted me to return for training 3 months after I'd arrived in Cyprus but my unit refused to release me. I was still one of the fasted mechanics to return for further training. Most do it in 5 years, I did in 3. I completed my training and was promoted and sent to East Yorkshire. Whilst still in training, I met my future wife Sue. We met through a cousin of mine who set us both up. Sue was in Stockport and I was on the east coast. The shift pattern I worked allowed me to see her every 4 days (continental 2 x 12 hr days and 2 x 12 hr night then 4 days off shifts). Everything was fine. We married in 1983. By this time I'd returned to the training school to carry out specialist training and on completion was moved to Northumberland. It was here that we had our first home together. This was where our problems started. Sue had always been used to an urban life, The local village was far from that. We were miles from anywhere with a bus service less frequent than the pony express. It also didn't help that wives of the other airmen tended to want to know all your business. To top it all off, within two months of getting married, Sue fell pregnant. She was in a strange place in the middle of nowhere and pregnant.

Not only that she had a rough time with the pregnancy. When it came time for the birth, she'd had so many problems that the doctors decide that she should go to the maternity hospital 35 miles away to be induced rather than the cottage hospital 5 miles away. As I didn't drive, this caused more problems for me visiting after the baby was born. When she got home with the baby, I spent the usual two weeks allowed with her on leave then returned to work. The baby just wouldn't sleep at all and cried continually. This meant neither of us slept more than an hour or two at the most. After 6 months of this Sue decided that she didn't want to live there anymore and would be better moving back to Stockport to be near her parents. I agreed to keep her happy and we bought a house not far from her mum (but not to close either). I moved back into the barracks and it was back to 4 on 4 off but due to distance only with Sue & the baby for 3 1/2 days. even then most of my spare time was spent working on the house. One day during one of the unit war games exercises I had an accident. I was running with a group of men who were under my instructions (by this time I'd been promoted again) and slipped on an icy embankment. I fell onto the magazine of my rifle and also ended up with my right leg halfway up my back. I couldn't feel my leg and it was thought I'd broken my back. I was rushed to Newcastle general hospital. After a two week stay it was decided I hadn't broken my back but had nerve damage. After 4 weeks sick leave I returned to my unit but went onto a standard Mon-Fri 8-5 routine. This meant I saw even less of Sue. By now I'd done 11 years service. I was offered the chance to extend my contract but fed up of not seeing much of my family, I declined and left the RAF in 1988. Big mistake. The jobs that were promised to me by the big Radar companies never materialised. I was struggling to find work anywhere. I had bills to pay (and a mortgage) and took whatever came along. Sue was also pregnant with our second child. It was tough. We ended up selling the house and moved in with her parents (bad move no.2). I went on a retraining course as a designer/draughtsman. We got a council house and 1 month later baby no. 2 came along. I then got a contract job as an electrical/electronic draughtsman. It was supposed to be for 6 months - It lasted 9 years. During this time the cracks had appeared in the marriage. Sue wasn't happy with me being around 7 days a week 52 weeks a year. She'd prefered me being around the few days a week I'd been in my forces days. When the contract ended (the company re engineered itself in an amalgamation with another company so this meant cost cutting - all contracts were terminated) I ended up out of work again. The drop from £23000 a year to benefits made things worse. I applied for countless jobs but although I was experienced they wanted people with degree's and those that didn't want degree's thought I was over experienced. I ended up in dead end jobs again. In the end the inevitable happened and Sue walked out after yet another massive argument. I agreed to move out for the sake of the kids and Sue moved back in. I tried all sorts of jobs but was never happy. I was sliding into a deep depression. I even went working abroad but the pay was appalling (it was a British holiday company who paid their staff well below minimum wage). Even so I enjoyed it. I came back in Nov 2006 after the holiday season had ended and moved in with my brother for a short period (or that was the plan). I got myself a job at a local engineering company (short term contract). As we finished for the Christmas break, The director asked me if I'd come back in January with the view to staying permanent. I agreed and was over the moon. Then on New Years eve 2006/07 I was mugged and severely beaten up. My eyesight was damaged and I suffered some head injuries. Because they had stolen my mobile phone and this was the only thing that had the phone number for the agency & the engineering company on, I couldn't contact them to let them know what had happened so I lost the job. I became very severely depressed and afraid to leave the flat. The daughters (now grown up) came to see me and forced me to go to see my GP. By this time I'd become suicidal. I was having blackouts. I'd decided enough was enough. I went out with the intention of throwing myself off a local motorway bridge. I took an overdose of antidepressants and sleeping tablets at the same time. Fortunately the police got to me before I managed to jump. I was taken to the local hospital and kept in the psychiatric unit for 6 weeks. During this time, my brother (kind understanding soul that he is) told the police that I wasn't to return to his flat so that made me homeless as well. I later moved into a homeless hostel on release from hospital and later moved into my eldest daughters partners flat (which he wasn't using). That's where I am now. I still can't work due to blackouts and poor eyesight, I find it hard to be amongst strangers plus I panic if people are behind me. My confidence is totally shot and I don't sleep well. (Its now 5.30am and I've been awake since 9am yesterday).