I have just been dumped by my girlfriend of 6 years because I was always unhappy and had a short temper. I never cared about anything until now. I was never able to appreciate what I had and who I was with. That came out in anger during the past 6 years. I drank to cover up my emotions and to not think about what I needed to do. I don't drink anymore because every bad decision I have made since I was 16 years old was done while drinking or hung over. After the break up I went out 2 weekends in a row and did some very stupid things because I was angry with myself.  I am now trying to change the way I live and how I act.

Grew up as a trouble maker. I somehow have always been able to support my self and hold a very good job throughout my life.Everything else that I did was very dumb and retarded. I moved to California with an Ex-girlfriend, drank a lot, moved back, had a kid with another girl, and got together with her.  I just bit my lip and went with the relationship because it was "the right thing to do".  She was the nicest person in the world so I was happy, at first. Every time we got into a fight, which was rare, I always went back to thinking that I was with her because of our child.  I loved her very much, but my actions spoke a lot louder than my words. The fights and thoughts got more frequent. Then shit hit the fan and here I am.

I have a very nice job that I love to go to and is very easy.  I often think about needing to go back to school and becoming a pilot just like always wanted. I now have that chance and I think I am about to take it.  I want to be happy with myself. I have never been happy with anything even though I have everything anybody would want, minus the girlfriend. So my plan is to be happy with my life, be proud of myself, and to make responsible decisions, sober.