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Birth Date: Tue, Jul 27 1982

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Los Angeles CA, United States (map)

I am: Single & Dating

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stop lying to yourself

 

 

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Sat, Feb 10 12:00 AM

stop lying to yourself

 It's official. I lie to myself about my substance abuse. In the past I've gone to AA meetings and instead of admitting to having a problem I look at everyone around me and focus on how I'm not as messed up as them.... therefore i dismiss my own issues and focus on how f***ed up these other people are. I then continue the same behavior I always have. After all my life isn't unmanagemable, I am great at my work, I have an active social life, I am close with my family..... I don't get drunk in LA and wake up in vegas.... 

It's easy to focus on that stuff. It's a lot harder to go over how many times i have driven drunk, blacked out, slept with someone i normally wouldn't have, didn't use protection, threw up, lied.... It's awful to think about the money spent, the boyfriends hurt, the affects it mostly likely has taken on my body.... 
I may not be a full blown alcoholic/addict, but i am well on my way to becoming one. 
I need to stop lying to myself. I need to open my eyes. I need to take control of my life. 

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Wordbird Wordbird:

First Step

That's the first step! To turn and face it. I'm so impressed, and hopeful you will find incredible support for this Eye Opening. I got to my first meeting by saying someone ELSE was the alcoholic and I'd just go along to help her. Wasn't that nice of me?! I had the same thoughts as you, "Wow, I'm so not like them!" After all there are always people who are at a stage where their life was nothing but drunkenness. But do I want to wait until THEN to do something?? I'm so excited for you! It's time for one of my favorite quotations. "There comes a time in each persons' life when they must take the bull by the tail and face the situation at hand."  It's an exciting time, though. Just wade right in to that bulls..t, deal with it, and take control back! With help. Don't forget that important part. WAY TO GO BOUNCE!!! 

Epiphany Epiphany:

You Know What They Say: One Day At A Time!

Bounce, what a brave entry!  I think I was right where you are when I was your age as well.  I think it's way more difficult and demoralizing to be a woman who is "out there" than it is to be a man. Our bodies are different and we fall harder and faster and do things that would make us studs if we were guys, but are not viewed so kindly when women do them. 

 

I slipped around a bit, but now have 14 years of sobriety.  And if I can do it, anyone can!  As wordbird said, admitting it is the first step in recovery. 

 

Be kind and gentle with yourself.  Go to meetings and listen and you'll hear what you came for.  Good luck to you!