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Hello Fitness Friends.. by Captain_K
I been out from blogging, but not from the program itself. The last couple of days in the program were duh moments for me, and one that I went.. Well isn't that neat!
One of the things assigned to me was to start a to do list. Sadly I used to do this all the time, before I got my new position. And even a short time after wards I would write down what I needed to do for the next day on my white board at my desk. And I was very productive at work. Then my company had some issuses the past year, and my work was to show up and look pretty, I basiclly had to babysit, and not allot to do, and when I did have something, I would finish it without needing to write it down.
Now, work has picked up and I am making excuses as to why I forgot something, or something got delayed.. I simply did not think of it, I/we can only focus on so much, so yesterday, before I left work.. I wrote down what I needed to do today. And I will keep doing it this way I get a new good habit.
Today was on seeing medical people more often, which funny enough as soon as I started this program back around a month ago, I made an appointment to see a new Dentist. I already go every 6 months to the DR for checkups. I realize I am not 25 anymore where I can just bounce back from a cold or anything. Plus, not to get to personal or graphic but in the past 5 years, other than my one relationship, I was dating multiple people at one time, and such, and wanted to make sure I have no STDs. Nicest way to state that!
Otherwise overall I feel fabulous, I was looking the other day at renting houses in San Diego, to get an idea for prices. It is 17 months away, but I need to start looking for an area I want to live in. I start school back up in a week, 11 more months of hell then its over for now! Deciding after this year if I want to get my Masters or not. I want to take a year off enjoy my life travel and move out west.. then see where I am at.
Lastly, the hardest part I been dealing with is one of my complaints and think I have finally come to the conclusion there is nothing I can do about it. Long story med length. My sister, is recently ( within the past 3 months) divorced with 2 kids to take care of. While she was married her Ex, didn't want her working or going to school, he told her what to do when to do it..etc. I told her to go get an education for your kids, and she gave me excuses as to why she could not. Well fast forward to now, she is 30 years old only worked in retail as a cashier, and has no other skills. And she lost her job in Sept. Was working seasonal help, and lost that. We had a talk on Sunday, and I asked her about going back to school, she told me a year ago she wanted to be a Nurse. Sunday, she goes, I just don't want to go back, and made a list of excuses as to why it wasn't a good time.
I realized then that she is reliving our childhood through her kids. Growing up my mom and dad split, my mom was more concerned over her personal life then me and my sister. And not dating but she was apart of Cub Scouts even though I quit when I was 13/14ish. My mom continued on. My sister is following her, and I said Sunday.. Not my problem, and I can't force her to change.. Accept the fact that you can't do anything..
This is another reason to move in a way, to get myself out of this environment that I see them in weekly. It's hard because when I was growing up, I told myself I never wanted that lifestyle for myself or my family if I was to have one.
But, if we can't change it, we have to accept it and move on.. and that is what I am trying to do right now.. This one is the hardest thing I have done sine starting tools. I hate to see those I care about hurt themselves and others.
Sorry for that depressing story part, I needed to get that off my chest.. I leave you with this..
Tools is amazing, and I am so glad I am here with all of you, I truly am becoming happier person who cares about himself. Each day I can't wait to come back, learn my new thing and read your blogs to see if I can help you out, cheer you on, or both..
Stay Classy TTL
Mark
comments
Good for you!
Glad to hear that you are moving in the right direction after a hard situation, it's never easy. Family is a tough one because we want to help them out and take care of them, but at the same time we don't want to get caught in the family spiral. Best of luck, Brian.
Good job, Mark.
You are making the changes YOU can make. I feel for you, man. I have brothers that don't want to change, either, and as much as I would like to help them I can only do so much.
Any way, good to hear you're taking care of yourself. Who knows? We may still be neighbors in a few years time.
Peace, sir!
You are doing great...
and sometimes we need to talk about the difficult stuff, life isn't all fun and games! So, no apologies for that! I have some sad family stories myself... maybe I will post more of them on here one of these days... not to depress people but to show that we all have these issues we have to face, we're all in this together, but we can make it through them and build each other up to make it easier!
Btw, and totally off subject, your birthday is 7/7/77 - how cool is that?! That better be your "lucky" number (even though we toolers don't believe in luck!) :-p
Cool
So I'm not the only one with troubled siblings. I am the youngest of 5. Both brothers are dead(No tears anymore)and the 2 that are left are some excuse ridden sisters(both older). I feel for ya man Keep your head high, and stay on track! RED DRAGONS!
Thank you!!
I gave up a promotion at work that would have required my wife and I to move about 2 weeks before I started the tools program. I felt like I had to stay "in town" to be close to help out my sisters (I am the oldest, with 5 younger sisters). You're story above just helped me realize that they are actually holding me back from realizing my goals and I cannot change them. Thank you!!
NO thank you all...
Earth- Thank you for the kind words..
Creative- Look forward to it!
Cheetah, actually growing up my favorite number was 34 ( Walter Payton!) and 18, Sadly ( Darryl Strawberry). Not until later did 7 become it!
Neo and Jdawgg, good to know I am not alone with this issue. The majority of my friends don't have this issue, and its hard to get a positive few of the topic.. Thank you.
SADLY ENOUGH
You are right... You can't change your sister and You have to accept that. I also have a sister and she is 29. She was a dancer when we were in our early twenties and when she got out of the game, she always swore she would go to school but never did. There was lucky enough to have people and boyfriends that always took care of her. So she remained a receptionist at hair salons in LA hoping Mr. Right would come along. Lucky her, she found someone now that proposed to her and he isn't like the others she has dated along the way(rich and assholes). Oddly enough, he was MR. WRIGHT!! HAHA They actually moved to Melbourne , Australia now. All I can do is pray and be happy for her just the way she is. Expecting breeds disappointment. Just gotta love your sis man. That's all you can do. Just hope for the best. Keep that positive energy out there.