Now I have moved back to the same area where I grew up.  I'm finding it very difficult to stay positive as I feel like I have stepped back in time and feel all my old insecurities growing up.  Suddenly the last decade doesn't seem to matter even though that's when I began to find myself, develop self confidence, and see myself in a different light.  I feel like I'm a teenager dealing with major self esteem issues every day.  Instead of remembering how awesome I am I've started mentally repeating all the things that I believe make me less of a person every day.  Starting to drive myself crazy and feeling very alone after leaving the life I built and the friends I made over the past 10 years.  Hoping that this will help kick start my positive attitude and provide me with the tools I need to deal with all the self esteem issues I allowed myself to develop while growing up.

Today is a great day.

I must admit that I have already started taking a more positive approach to the obstacles in my life.

Thanks to everyone for all the support!

-C

One thing that I have learned over the last month of self pity and negative thinking is that no matter how low you feel, you always have the ability to pull yourself out of that hole.

Day 25, here I come!

Maybe tomorrow....

I have every exuse in the book right now.

- I work too many hours

- too tired

- need to clean the house

- need to take time for myself

- have to maintain friendships

- family is visiting.

I 100% realize that these are all excuses and I acknowledge that I have the power to log in everyday if I so choose.  Thanks to everyone who brought me back into the fold over the last week by sending me gentle reminders that Tools and the Tools community is here for me.

Today I need to get myself back on track and once I do that, everything else will become more manageable.

Thanks a bunch to everyone for being here!

-C

My life is what I make it, so there is no possible way that I can look back at my life when I am 80 and think "what a waste."  Life cannot be a waste as long as I keep trying and keep moving forward.

Thanks to everyone for the uplifting messages and for providing support on a day when I really needed it!  Today is a new day and I hope that I can one day provide you all with support much as you have done for me.

:-)

I left my husband and I know that was the right thing to do.  On the other hand, I have a lot of guilt because I see how much pain it is causing him.  His pain = my pain. 

I also worry that I will always be alone....Then I ask myself why I should be worried about this and whether or not it would be such a terrible thing.  I don't have an answer for myself and I think that is what scares me the most.

I am absolutely terrified of turning 80 and looking back at my life and thinking "what a waste."

I know that these thoughts are somewhat ridiculous since there is no way to know what the future holds and that I have to do what is right for me Today.  I just wish that I could find some piece of mind instead of allowing my thoughts to run a rampant course of self-punishment.

-C

Today I decided that doing yoga would make me feel not only physically better, but also emotionally better.  I was right!  Not only that, I found that I had more motivation and energy to complete tasks that I have been putting off for weeks.

As a result of doing one thing for myself to make my life better, other parts of my life were positively influenced.  I think that I will start my day off with Yoga tomorrow and see how the rest of my day pans out afterwards.

Have a terrific day everyone!

-C

Today is a great day! I hope everyone finds a moment in their day which gives them a good belly laugh!

-C