jrigby24:

:)

keep up the positive attitude hun. theres someone out there for all of us. I  dont think u;ll be alone. i think everyone is a little worried about there life being a waste at the end. Just do what ever you want in life and live it to the fullest, u;ll have no regreats. keep smilen :)

LifeWarrior:

You can do it!

Hang in there!  I have also gone through some times of losing focus and straying a bit away from the program.  I think it is probably pretty common.  Just keep your eye on the prize - Your Life!  Each day we get a chance to create the life we want.  Some days will be great.  Some will not be so great, that is life.  We are doing this program to help make our lives better.  We have made the decision to do that.  Not everything changes in just a few weeks.  It sounds like you have gone through some major life changes.  If you know that you made the right decisions, you did.  Listen to your inner voice.  You can't change the way that others act, think, feel...............you can only choose how to react to those folks.  Don't worry about being alone forever.  Live your life, pursue your passions, you will find your way, and you will find your life partner in due time.  No pressure, enjoy the times and good things will come about.  Your doing great!

glitterlane:

Thoughts do that sometimes.

Don't you hate when your own mind creates strss like that?

I'm sure you will not be alone until you're 80-- and if you ARE?! It will be because that is what you decided to do.

Whether or not your life is a waste certainly has NOTHING to do with whether or not you find a suitable partner-- I'm sure dev would remind you that you are the only person who can make your life worthwhile!

So don't stress about that stuff! There is nothing you can do about it except to work on your own happiness, and well being, and nothing is more attractive to other people than someone who is happy with themselves.

ew, sorry... little too much self-help banter! Just kidding, at least it's the truth!

Anywho, I find that music or reading is a great way to distract yourself from those negative thoughts, and since I know you're hitting the gym I can think of NO better way than jamming on a treadmill/elliptical/whatever to take the pain away!

Good luck, lady! I know you'll be great! 

creativeamp68:

Your motivation is right there, ceb...

...did you see it?  It's in one line of the entry you wrote.

"I am absolutely terrified of turning 80 and looking back at my life and thinking "what a waste."

If you need something to motivate you when you're down and out, FOCUS ON THAT LINE. DO NOT LIVE YOUR LIFE so that what you do is just a "waste".  Ask yourself, "If I do this, will I regret it when I'm 80? Will it be a waste of effort?" Use your REVERSE tool. Don't beat yourself up b/c it will only drag you down. YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT, ceb.

And try not to make your husband's pain yours. I know it's hard, but only focus on how you can improve you. You CANNOT change anyone else's mind, attitude, or way of thought.

I look back at all my old posts when I first started out and I was precisely in your mindset then. I look at them now and SMILE because it was a phase that just is insignificant to me now.

Things will fall into place for you, ceb. Have faith in yourself that you will GET THROUGH THIS, you will be better for this experience.

Hang in there and know your fellow TOOLers are here to ease your troubles.

I have faith IN YOU.  :)