Touching base with myTools friends...

Hello all my Tools friends! I hope you are having a FABULOUS day, week, month, and year. I know I am.

I am, by no means perfect. I still have moments where I forget my tools. But, in the end, my tools find their way back to me and end up grounding me. Since I did the tools program, I have gone on to involve myself in many group therapies. I have taken control of my borderline personality disorder (BPD). I rule it, it does not rule me. And that, my friends, is an amazing feeling.

One of my biggest things was never accepting things as they are. 'It is what it is". My enemy words at one time. Not anymore. That thinking has encouraged me to roll forward (bad pun, you'll see why in a sec). Roll forward to try new things, and to face my fears.

I have never considered myself a leader. The fact that I was on student council in high school and took leadership camps is irrelevant. Excellent experiences but by no means did it change me into a leader. I still would rather follow than lead and run from what I fear. At least, that was the case in the past. Today, I roll forward.

Roller Derby!!! WTF? is probably crossing your mind right now. Wtf is this crazy chick talking about? I'm talking Roller Derby.

I am afraid to hurt myself. As a result I gave up snowboarding. I gave up a lot of things I want to do. NO MORE!

YOU: What the hell does Roller derby have to do with this?

Well, I am afraid to hurt myself. I am not a leader but that has changed. You see, there is no Roller Derby league where I live. I bought myself roller skates and am learning to skate. I saw a live Roller Derby bout and I NEED Roller Derby in my life. SO...everyone has a leader in them; I'm convinced. There has to be. SO I dug deep inside and I will lead my town into the world of derby. I am going to try to start a derby league. Its gonna be a lot of work but, I'm not working right now so Ive got time. It wont be up and running this year but by next summer I hope to have a league of at least two teams. For the first time I will lead and I will face my fears of hurting myself and of failure. If I fail, it is what it is. At least I tried, right? I know NOTHING about starting derby but I am determined to persevere.

So, I'm gonna roll forward and Im gonna try. Wish me luck as I wish you luck on all your endevours.

Be well my friends.

Celena

xo

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