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Join Now Have stayed away from drinking for months... by cvallarino
 
cvallarino
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Birth Date: Thu, Mar 05

Place of residence:
RENO NV, United States (map)

I am: Married

Schools: Santa Clara University, Marin Catholic High School

Jobs: Basically an entrepreneur -- I do Marketing/Branding stuff


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Have stayed away from drinking for months...

 

 

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cvallarino

  cvallarino

Sun, May 04 04:19 PM

Have stayed away from drinking for months...

 But went to Vegas on business and drank both days. I have mixed feeling about it. It was an event, and I was hanging out with business people I have always drank with. My wife is freaked out that I drank, and I am a little disappointed in the fact that I did at all, but I drank. I didn't get hammerred, I didn't do anything I shouldn't or am ashamed of. I made all of my meeetings and participated actively, and came home normal if not slightly hung over because I was "out oif shape". But, I ma having a tough time dealing with her disappointment and concern and that is making me feel bad. Then she goes out lasty night and gets HAMMERED and has spent all day in bed. And I wonder why I feel bad. But she should have nothing to do with how I feel. Neither her reaction to me or what she does.  Just need to worry about me, and be the best me.

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You got it! Now you just need to follow through...

 

"Just need to worry about me, and be the best me."

 

You said it.  It's true.  Maybe that trip to Vegas and your behaviour there was just the warning you needed to set you back on the right track.  Listen to your own inner voice and be the best you.  You can do it.  You know you can. 

 

Good thinking

Maybe you can think about what motivated you to stop in the first place, and all the benefits you have had as a result of this great success of not drinking. To remind yourself why it is important and helpful that you stopped, and then take it seriously that you, for some reason, choose to drink. But most important, what will you choose to do now?  

 

Sounds like your wife is really upset. That can mean scared, disappointed, worried...all kinds of things. I agree, her reaction is hers. She can't choose for you and you can't choose for her, how to feel or how to behave. But you can choose for you. And you can take how your choices affect her, into account.

You can do it, keep going! You can do it, keep going!

What if...?

What if your wife were not part of the equation in this scenario?  Would you still have felt the feelings you felt?  It's sometimes hard for me to separate what I genuinely feel and need to work on, when I worry about other people's reactions.

 

 

Also, I'm concerned that your wife's response was to exceed what you did by getting drunk.

 

My judgment is that you did nothing wrong.