I am from a home where my father was married 4 times and my mother 6. My father took custody at the age of 4, and I have been in 9 schools in the time I went from first to 12th grade.

My extended familly has never taken any interest in me except my grandmother. I have not spoken to my brother in 12 years.

I have spent a large portion of my adult life either trying to get into school, trying to finish a degree, or trying to get back into school. I finally finished a Ph.D, this summer.

I have had several girlfriends, two of whom wanted to get married, but never got married. I have not been in a relationship for 2 years.

I am vastly underemployed and feel once again stuck in life...

I mentioned a lot of that earlier.

I am convinced that the relationships I have had in the past have held me back, and the last two years have been the most successful of my life when I have not had any relationships, and virtually no friends.

It makes me wonder.

I am very unhappy about my past, the mediocre nature of my relationships, the heart breaking disappointments with my immediate familly, and wonder if I will ever have a good solid relationship.

There is nothing in terms of fond memories growing up. My home life was either abysmal or empty.

Every holiday season is a bit sad, because there are no good memories, and no home to go to now.

My adult life has been over coming set backs and failures to get a degree living below the US poverty level, and now I do not have one friend who has wanted to keep up with me from college, high school, or anywhere else.

My greatest failure has been a lack of connections and a lack of good memories.

Goodbye to my past is all I have to say about it, and this is more than I have said about it in many years.

My future will have a good kitchen and good refrigerator with a bathroom that has good fixtures and good plumbing.

That's really important.

I will finish my novel. (It is now on page 745 and going strong).

I will be a professor at a research institution that has a Ph.D. program, and publish on a regular basis.

I will be in a relationship with a woman that is loyal, caring, and supports my ambitions, and above all is grateful to spend time with me.