Bride2Be:

Man enough

mike-

 its always a good way to start when you already realize that your behavior is self destructive. but in many ways you have a point in being stressed out bc of money. the economy as everyone is well aware of right now is horrible and jobs are tight. be patient with your wife. things will work out for the best. dont be angry that you are the one always apologize be proud of yourself for you know your faults and you are man enough to step up and admit them.

we all have our good days and our bad days, and your wife will understand. venting is natural. just remember how you can chose your opportunities, and how you control the situations you are in=] and dont forget to smile it'll can turn you day around.

dgauld:

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You can't make anybody do something they don't want to. You can tell her how you feel and how you need her to contribute more, but at the end of the day she'll do what she wants. Maybe you can help her identify a job that she would like to do and enjoy. Work doesn't have to be a bad thing. It can be rewarding, fun and challenging.

 Good luck

angieszz:

Money vs Stuff

In life it is money vs stuff.

I suggest that you sit down with your wife and work out your budgets together.  Maybe there are other ways to work this out.

Ownership is always part of the solution.  You can't force things on your wife, but she also needs to realise that things need to get paid for somehow.  So I suggest you sit down and work out budgets.  Work out what you would like to do around the house and stuff you would like to buy.  Based on your current budget - write a time frame for these things based on wife not working.  Then agree that you are prepared to wait that long for these things.

If you both agree you are not prepared, then  you can work on solutions for bringing in extra income.

You are currently forcing the situation and that is not helping - you need to stand back.

Have a great day! Angie

lunagolden:

Hmmmm.....the good, the bad and the ugly

Good that you continue to express your feelings and did so (at lest at the beginning) in a positive way...but....

I am not sure what else Robin does but if she is staying at home and managing your house and your disabled child, that's already a pretty hefty load, and you might want to think it through to see if you are underestimating or not her workload - I dont know of many stay at home moms who spend all day sitting around watching TV - if your clothes are cleaned and put away, the house tidied, the groceries shopped for, the food made, and your child cared for...that's a bunch of non-monetary contributions that would cost a bundle if you had to pay for them separately.  Dont know if I'm out of base here - maybe she doesnt do any of these things. Be honest with yourself and you decide.

As for the ugly (not you, the ugly economic reality) remember that there are things you can do about it - if you can manage to live in the house as it is for the time being and hold off on the renos and upgrades, you might feel less pressure and concern.  In the current economic climate, it might make sense to hunker down and enjoy what you have and wait to see if there are opportunities later on - at the very least you could start saving and building up the reno/upgrade fund.

You are a good man Mike and I know it is challenging being the sole breadwinner and working hard in a job you may not enjoy..but think about your life with Robin and your child...the life you come home to...she may need some recognition for the contribution she makes to the 12 hours a day you aren't bringing home the bacon.

All the best my friend.