So yestereday was the be aware of your buttons and dont let tehm get pushed lesson... and what did I do when I gfot to work.... I let something he said get under my skin and now Im still freaked out and stressed about it.
Pretty much it was me, him , this guy Jared, and maybe a couple other people. Jared was ripping on me like guys do and I was taking it well.... he was actally giving it to me pretty hard but this is the type of stuff you deal with in a male dominated work enviroment. My roommate then somehow giot involved and started talking about a really good paying job that we both applied for and someone else got. I took it that he was caling me out in front of whoever for being pissed that I didnt get the other job and maybe even pissed at or jeleous of the other person. Now that I think about it its both true. Im not pissed at the other person but I am definately jeleous...aAnyways I let it roll off my back but as time passed it started eating me more and more...
I woke up this morning early went to the bethroom to take an allergy pill and when I got into the living room he was there and I asked him if Kelly (his friend who fgot the job) thinks Im maat her and proceded to tell him that Im kinda pissed about the job thing and dont appreciate him talking about it at work.... I also told him that he kinda acts differantly (I may have said "like a dick") when his buddy Jared is around....
I am still kinda worked up and can't even focus on doing my tools chapter right now. I think I misdirected this pent up anger that Ive been burrying about the job thing for the past few weeks at my roommate, but at the same time atleest I let him know it bothered me, even though I probably didnt do it in he best way and he probably now thinks Im pissed at him...
I know that I have gone a far way in the last month and that in two months Ill be alot further. I also realize that with my marathn training I am probably entering the realm of overtraining and I may be irritable the next 2 weeks untill I hit my taper. I need to focus on eating better and sleeping 8 a night and pull myself through this. I think I reached a breakthrough and instead of burrying my emotions about not getting that job I need to confront them. I am not pissed at Brian (my roomate) or Kelly (the person who got the job), Im pissed at the fact that I didnt get a job and you know what.... life goes on and I need to keep my chin up, keep following the tools, and make my life better.... I need to go to the gym and hit the bike and weights hard to relieve some of this stress... and maybe when I come home I can actually do my tools for the day...
I also need to use this blog more, and not for when I just reach setbacks...
comments
Talking it out
I think it's great you acknowledge that you're not pissed at others, but that you didn't get the job. I realize you posted this several days ago and it's probably blown over by now, but I also think it's great that you confronted your roommate about it, even if it wasn't as polished as you would have liked. :) Especially when you are living with someone, they need to know (in my opinion) when something goes too far. I don't think it's unreasonable to be upset in this situation - not getting a job already sucks enough - you definitely don't need it rubbed in your face. Anyway, it sounds like you have your mind straight about the whole thing and are moving on. Hope the week has gone well for you.