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dobbywarnshryptr
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Birth Date: Wed, Apr 26 1989

Place of residence:
Mesa AZ, United States (map)

I am: Single & Not Dating

Schools: Carl Sandburg High School; Northern Illinois University; Glendale Community College; The Art Institute of Phoenix

Jobs: White Castle; Jamba Juice; PA&T Insurance; Sonic; Delivering Flyers For ADT/RSVP Security


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Tools Program Stats:
Member Since: 09/07/08
Last Login: 01/29/10
Viewed: 15362
Program in:
Program Progress: Day 42
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PFR Challenge
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Areas In My Life I Want To Work On

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I Suffer From

dobbywarnshryptr's Life List:
Join the peace corp.
Live in a completely enviornmentally friendly home.
Stick to a steady exercise regime. To always be continually active.
Use my time wisely. Don't sit around when I know there are things to do.
When there is an opportunity to accel, don't say I'll wait til next time.
Don't think so much, just do.
Bring drumming back into my life as a hobby, not a chore, for myself, not for others.
Get a job.
Once I get a job, save as much money as I can for a year & find a place in L.A. No unneccessary spending!!! Ask myself why/if I need this.
Don't complain. Know that I can't control other's actions but I can take control of mine, have the best intentions & be confident in my decisions. Take responsibility for myself, not others. Stop letting people rely on me. It's just a distraction/procratination from my own responsibilites. It's not being greedy, it's having boundaries. Learn how to rely on myself.
Study motorcycle handbook & get my permit.
Use the computer only as neccessary. Don't waste unproductive hours on it accomplishing nothing.
Don't take things to heart. Realize that other people's opinions are really about themselves, not you. Grow a thick skin. What is the purpose of shrinking just because I want everyone to like me. I will never be liked by everyone. Get rid of the people I have to try to be liked by & stick with the people I'm naturally liked by. What sense does it make to keep someone in my life that likes me because I'm altering who I am. The sooner I can train my instincts to realize this, the better off I'll be. It's nothing personal, it's just the way people click.
Master time-management. I know I can do it.
When a situation calls for a few extra steps than anticipated, don't try to make it work without the needed steps. THAT ONLY TAKES LONGER WHEN I REALIZE IT WON'T WORK & I HAVE TO TAKE THE EXTRA STEPS ANYWAYS!!!
Go to school & get a degree.
Work in movie production.
Learn how to remain internally peaceful in the most stressful situatioins.

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Just struggling with consistancy

 

 

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dobbywarnshryptr

  dobbywarnshryptr

Sun, Aug 16 10:30 PM

Just struggling with consistancy

 

Every time I do TOOLS it's great, but I get tired...I make excuses not to do it.  I want to make this happen, but every time I decide to make it happen, somewhere along the way I fail.  I guess I just want to know how this time it will be different.  Maybe it's about continuing even when I feel like I failed.  I wonder if that's a good way to hold my standards to: if I can't reach the expectation of doing TOOLS everyday, @ least I started it back up?

 

I'm fasting today & I have to tell you, it was one of the hardest days probably of my life.  I struggle with bulimia & there were so many times that I didn't know how to stay in my own skin.  I was about to get up shopping for binge food, but I've just had enough of that you know?  It's almost not doing anything for me anymore except keep me occupied.  I guess it's a good thing it's not serving the purpose it once did...that must mean I'm getting better right?

 

Anyways, I promised my friend that when I was having urges I would call her or write to her on our journal.  I just really did not want to.  If you have ever fought an addiction you understand the difficulty of calling someone before you act on an urge, but once you make that call, it makes all the difference in the world.  The funny thing was, I didn't want to face it by calling/writing her & I also didn't want to give in to my urges, so I just picked myself up & went to a yoga class.  After I got up & ready to go I just started smiling & I felt so happy & all the urges I had been fighting for the past few hours just diminished.  It was like so funny, bc just how the emotions changed at lightspeed is incredible you know?

 

I still faced more urges afterwards, but less strong.  Right now I'm having some urges but doing TOOLS helps.  It's hard bc fasting takes away any ability to use food as a coping mechanism.  Even when I'm eating properly portioned meals, I can still use the food to deal with my emotions; and once that link is cut off it's like I have no choice but to face obstacles without my coping strategy.  It was a fucking difficult day, I'm glad it's over, but I'm glad it happened...or I will be glad eventually, once I can eat again I know I'll be glad, but I really think this weekly fasting helps slowly cut down on my need to use food to cope.

 

Tomorrow, gunna go to yoga & do some homework.  My sister comes home from Hawaii where she was visiting her boyfriend.  It'll be nice to see her too.

 

I'm wondering about exercise.  Is it too much to want to do yoga in the morning & running @ night?  I already feel low energy throughout the day & I think it's mental, but when I rest, it feels so good so I'm not sure if my exhaustion is real & if I should ignore it.  I think it may be my mind's way of finding an excuse to not do things I should be doing.

 

That's all for now.

 

 

 

 

Goodnight,

 

 

~Kirsten~

 

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