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Join Now 4th of July by dobbywarnshryptr
 
dobbywarnshryptr
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Birth Date: Wed, Apr 26 1989

Place of residence:
Mesa AZ, United States (map)

I am: Single & Not Dating

Schools: Carl Sandburg High School; Northern Illinois University; Glendale Community College; The Art Institute of Phoenix

Jobs: White Castle; Jamba Juice; PA&T Insurance; Sonic; Delivering Flyers For ADT/RSVP Security


Certificates:
Tools Program Stats:
Member Since: 09/07/08
Last Login: 01/29/10
Viewed: 14046
Program in:
Program Progress: Day 42
dobbywarnshryptr's Challenges:

dobbywarnshryptr's Participating:
PFR Challenge
Personal Interests:
Music:
Books:
Favorite Places:
I Want To See:
Hobbies:
Activities:
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Movies:
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Heroes:
I Want To Meet:
Tools Goal List:

Areas In My Life I Want To Work On

I Want To Quit Or Control

Skills I Am Interested In

I Suffer From

dobbywarnshryptr's Life List:
Join the peace corp.
Live in a completely enviornmentally friendly home.
Stick to a steady exercise regime. To always be continually active.
Use my time wisely. Don't sit around when I know there are things to do.
When there is an opportunity to accel, don't say I'll wait til next time.
Don't think so much, just do.
Bring drumming back into my life as a hobby, not a chore, for myself, not for others.
Get a job.
Once I get a job, save as much money as I can for a year & find a place in L.A. No unneccessary spending!!! Ask myself why/if I need this.
Don't complain. Know that I can't control other's actions but I can take control of mine, have the best intentions & be confident in my decisions. Take responsibility for myself, not others. Stop letting people rely on me. It's just a distraction/procratination from my own responsibilites. It's not being greedy, it's having boundaries. Learn how to rely on myself.
Study motorcycle handbook & get my permit.
Use the computer only as neccessary. Don't waste unproductive hours on it accomplishing nothing.
Don't take things to heart. Realize that other people's opinions are really about themselves, not you. Grow a thick skin. What is the purpose of shrinking just because I want everyone to like me. I will never be liked by everyone. Get rid of the people I have to try to be liked by & stick with the people I'm naturally liked by. What sense does it make to keep someone in my life that likes me because I'm altering who I am. The sooner I can train my instincts to realize this, the better off I'll be. It's nothing personal, it's just the way people click.
Master time-management. I know I can do it.
When a situation calls for a few extra steps than anticipated, don't try to make it work without the needed steps. THAT ONLY TAKES LONGER WHEN I REALIZE IT WON'T WORK & I HAVE TO TAKE THE EXTRA STEPS ANYWAYS!!!
Go to school & get a degree.
Work in movie production.
Learn how to remain internally peaceful in the most stressful situatioins.

Info

 
 
4th of July

 

 

3
cheers
cheer it
dobbywarnshryptr

  dobbywarnshryptr

Sat, Jul 04 11:25 PM

4th of July

 

Today was better I think.  I stuck to my meal plan.  One of the few times since I was in treatment in January.  I really wanted to nibble tonight, but I thought of how I would feel afterwards, & usually that feeling leads into self-destruction & more bingeing & purging.

 

I spent last night at my sister's cause I needed to do laundry.  So I woke up to my alarm, started my laundry & fell back asleep.  I'm wondering if it counts when I wake up to my alarm if I go back to sleep after a while.  I did it several times to wake up & change the loads & then fell back asleep until 11:00am.

 

My plan was to go to the gym today too, but after my clothes were done around 1:00pm, I had to pick up some garlic cloves that my sister told me to take for my soar throat & ear (she's studying natural medicine) & then bring all my laundry home.

 

I still could have gone, I don't know what's holding me back.  Like I said yesterday, I shouldn't think too much about it because I can easily talk myself out of it.

 

I was supposed to meet up again with my sister for fireworks but I didn't hear her call me.  I was kind of grateful.  I just feel relieved when I don't have to socialize.  I've been telling myself that "yes, I have a weight problem, but I can change this & make my life better", I still didn't feel like worrying about what people were thinking about me out in public.

 

I unpacked a little more today, or organized what I had already unpacked in my apartment.  I tried to keep myself busy from thinking about food.  I'm trying really hard not to have expectations when I eat because if I continue with that, than I'll want to keep rewarding myself with food.

 

Sometimes I wish food had no flavor or that we didn't have to eat.

 

My problem now is that I kind of have a sporadic schedule & I'm just filling in the blanks of my day.

 

I don't know whether to go to the gym before or after breakfast.  If I go before breakfast, it will make it hard for me to concentrate because when I wake up eating is something I look forward to.  I'm not happy about that, I'm trying my best to fight my addiction.   I suppose going to the gym before eating might help me learn some control instead of feeding my emotions at the crack of dawn.  It's like right when I wake up I don't want to feel anything so I'll eat breakfast to shove away the feelings.

 

After the gym, I don't really know what to do with myself.  I don't have any friends yet & school hasn't started.  I have a lot to do here in the apartment I just wonder if I can last all day here & stick to my meal plan.  I wonder if it was easier today because I wasn't at my apartment all day.  But I guess if I go to the gym that might help.

 

If anyone has any suggestions on whether to go before or after breakfast I would love it!

 

So, yeah, I did good with my meal plan, I cleaned up a little, I did my best to cancel negative thoughts.  Apart from isolating myself from my sister, I improved my behavior a little bit.

 

If anyone has seen the movie "Yes man", I think the concept of that would be good for me, to not say no (or avoid) any social invitations.  Face my fears.

 

Happy fourth,

 

~Kirsten~

 

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comments

words of encouragement

hi kristen

happy to hear you had a better day,just remember to log into tools ,do the exercises,and you can make your life better.i struggle with some of the same things you do to ,going to gym ,scheduling time to do things,what people will think of me,etc.i usually keep myself busy and fill up my day with things to do ,so i  won't need to think of the negative things ,i myself am a work in progress.i hope that you stick with tools and if you need someone to talk to don't hesitate to contact me

 

 

 

ed

You can do it, keep going! You can do it, keep going!

Go Girl

We are all here ready to help you stay on track. Day at a time is key - that is how you climb a mountain one step at a time!

 

Have a great day! Angie

Thanks you guys

Thank you very much.  It's really nice to have this support.  I'm trying...