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Join Now Black + White = Gray by dobbywarnshryptr
 
dobbywarnshryptr
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Birth Date: Wed, Apr 26 1989

Place of residence:
Mesa AZ, United States (map)

I am: Single & Not Dating

Schools: Carl Sandburg High School; Northern Illinois University; Glendale Community College; The Art Institute of Phoenix

Jobs: White Castle; Jamba Juice; PA&T Insurance; Sonic; Delivering Flyers For ADT/RSVP Security


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Tools Program Stats:
Member Since: 09/07/08
Last Login: 01/29/10
Viewed: 15388
Program in:
Program Progress: Day 42
dobbywarnshryptr's Challenges:

dobbywarnshryptr's Participating:
PFR Challenge
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I Want To See:
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Movies:
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Tools Goal List:

Areas In My Life I Want To Work On

I Want To Quit Or Control

Skills I Am Interested In

I Suffer From

dobbywarnshryptr's Life List:
Join the peace corp.
Live in a completely enviornmentally friendly home.
Stick to a steady exercise regime. To always be continually active.
Use my time wisely. Don't sit around when I know there are things to do.
When there is an opportunity to accel, don't say I'll wait til next time.
Don't think so much, just do.
Bring drumming back into my life as a hobby, not a chore, for myself, not for others.
Get a job.
Once I get a job, save as much money as I can for a year & find a place in L.A. No unneccessary spending!!! Ask myself why/if I need this.
Don't complain. Know that I can't control other's actions but I can take control of mine, have the best intentions & be confident in my decisions. Take responsibility for myself, not others. Stop letting people rely on me. It's just a distraction/procratination from my own responsibilites. It's not being greedy, it's having boundaries. Learn how to rely on myself.
Study motorcycle handbook & get my permit.
Use the computer only as neccessary. Don't waste unproductive hours on it accomplishing nothing.
Don't take things to heart. Realize that other people's opinions are really about themselves, not you. Grow a thick skin. What is the purpose of shrinking just because I want everyone to like me. I will never be liked by everyone. Get rid of the people I have to try to be liked by & stick with the people I'm naturally liked by. What sense does it make to keep someone in my life that likes me because I'm altering who I am. The sooner I can train my instincts to realize this, the better off I'll be. It's nothing personal, it's just the way people click.
Master time-management. I know I can do it.
When a situation calls for a few extra steps than anticipated, don't try to make it work without the needed steps. THAT ONLY TAKES LONGER WHEN I REALIZE IT WON'T WORK & I HAVE TO TAKE THE EXTRA STEPS ANYWAYS!!!
Go to school & get a degree.
Work in movie production.
Learn how to remain internally peaceful in the most stressful situatioins.

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Black + White = Gray

 

 

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dobbywarnshryptr

  dobbywarnshryptr

Tue, Sep 15 10:05 PM

Black + White = Gray

 

Today went pretty good.  I got some things done, but I was very anxious as I was doing them.  I kept forgetting things & having to go back to a task I just ended & I was constantly back & forth.  Every time I start working on things that is what happens.

 

 

I realize that focusing on one thing at a time is the solution, & worrying about things are pointless.  This quote from the Dalai Lama always pops up in my head:

 

“If you have fear of some pain or suffering, you should examine whether there is anything you can do about it. If you can, there is no need to worry about it; if you cannot do anything, then there is also no need to worry.”

 

 

I guess it just takes time & patience.  I think it's time to start blending my black & white thinking into the gray as well.  I focus way too much on the unimportant details of things & that is a big factor in what holds me up.  I've been that way my whole life...that is something I really wonder if I can change.

 

 

I'm worried about reading tonight.  I haven't applied that part of my checklist yet because it's always gotten too late to do (cough *excuse* cough), but it's also because reading  is seeming to get more complicated for me.  My comprehension feels off.  I have to constantly stop after sentences & try & analyze the simplest things.  I visit the doctor again next week, I'll probably bring that up.

 

 

I started editing my video project today.  I haven't actually started putting it together, but just cutting out the junk parts of it.  I know I'm a newbie with directing, so I can't be too harsh with judgment.  It is frustrating though when you have something in your head & you're trying to express it but it doesn't come out the way you want.  Kind of like the way people are with expressing emotions.  With both of those things it takes practice I guess.

 

It's weird, the earlier I start getting ready for bed, the more tired I get.  If that makes sense.  I want to get to bed by 10:30 tonight & when I started Tools at 8:30, I started having to fight my eyes to stay open.  I think that might be partially to not getting to bed early enough on previous nights.  So I hope I won't always be so exhausted at 8:30 at night!

 

 

I haven't been eating a whole lot.  I'm listening to my body, but I know for a fact that the amount I'm eating is under what I should be.  I'm just not hungry.  I did notice though that when I had a snack during my class today while we were editing, I was talking to someone & I was really anxious about eating & felt the need to finish my snack quickly.

 

 

Constant rollercoaster...

 

 

Maybe that's why I'm getting so tired.  Idk, but it is time for me to get ready for bed.

 

 

 

 

Goodnight,

 

~Kirsten~

 

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comments

Welcome.

I see you have  been here for alittle bit.  Welcome!  yes... you definately sound like you put alot of effort and worry into about anything that comes to mind.  has to feel pretty heavy one would think!!!!

 

Sorry to hear about that.  Perhaps in time, you will be able to change that... If you so choose!  Keep going, seems like one of the lessons addresses something like this!

 

 

tks

Enjoyed your honesty and sincere sharing K.

You are a true inspiration.

Tks for sharing.

Luv