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Join Now Respire by dobbywarnshryptr
 
dobbywarnshryptr
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Birth Date: Wed, Apr 26 1989

Place of residence:
Mesa AZ, United States (map)

I am: Single & Not Dating

Schools: Carl Sandburg High School; Northern Illinois University; Glendale Community College; The Art Institute of Phoenix

Jobs: White Castle; Jamba Juice; PA&T Insurance; Sonic; Delivering Flyers For ADT/RSVP Security


Certificates:
Tools Program Stats:
Member Since: 09/07/08
Last Login: 01/29/10
Viewed: 15389
Program in:
Program Progress: Day 42
dobbywarnshryptr's Challenges:

dobbywarnshryptr's Participating:
PFR Challenge
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Music:
Books:
Favorite Places:
I Want To See:
Hobbies:
Activities:
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Heroes:
I Want To Meet:
Tools Goal List:

Areas In My Life I Want To Work On

I Want To Quit Or Control

Skills I Am Interested In

I Suffer From

dobbywarnshryptr's Life List:
Join the peace corp.
Live in a completely enviornmentally friendly home.
Stick to a steady exercise regime. To always be continually active.
Use my time wisely. Don't sit around when I know there are things to do.
When there is an opportunity to accel, don't say I'll wait til next time.
Don't think so much, just do.
Bring drumming back into my life as a hobby, not a chore, for myself, not for others.
Get a job.
Once I get a job, save as much money as I can for a year & find a place in L.A. No unneccessary spending!!! Ask myself why/if I need this.
Don't complain. Know that I can't control other's actions but I can take control of mine, have the best intentions & be confident in my decisions. Take responsibility for myself, not others. Stop letting people rely on me. It's just a distraction/procratination from my own responsibilites. It's not being greedy, it's having boundaries. Learn how to rely on myself.
Study motorcycle handbook & get my permit.
Use the computer only as neccessary. Don't waste unproductive hours on it accomplishing nothing.
Don't take things to heart. Realize that other people's opinions are really about themselves, not you. Grow a thick skin. What is the purpose of shrinking just because I want everyone to like me. I will never be liked by everyone. Get rid of the people I have to try to be liked by & stick with the people I'm naturally liked by. What sense does it make to keep someone in my life that likes me because I'm altering who I am. The sooner I can train my instincts to realize this, the better off I'll be. It's nothing personal, it's just the way people click.
Master time-management. I know I can do it.
When a situation calls for a few extra steps than anticipated, don't try to make it work without the needed steps. THAT ONLY TAKES LONGER WHEN I REALIZE IT WON'T WORK & I HAVE TO TAKE THE EXTRA STEPS ANYWAYS!!!
Go to school & get a degree.
Work in movie production.
Learn how to remain internally peaceful in the most stressful situatioins.

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dobbywarnshryptr

  dobbywarnshryptr

Tue, Sep 22 09:24 PM

Respire

 

Things have been okay.  I keep getting waves of happiness & waves of depression.

 

I woke up to go to yoga today & just seriously felt like giving up on everything, for no particular reason.  But I went anyways, & it ended up being okay.  It's easier to say now that it's over with...I will have to face it once again tomorrow morning.

 

Randomly today I actually felt a little sense of excitement about living.  It was only for a split second but it was cool.  I was thinking about getting that Christmas excitement because everyday is an unopened present & you don't know what you're going to get.  I just really like the way that makes me think.  I wish I could make that feeling stay with me.  But it came for that split second when I didn't think it was going to come at all...so even though I feel resistant to hope, I feel like I should have faith for that feeling to grow.

 

I had school today & we watched all of our projects.  Some people just have a knack for humor.  It made me kind of sad, just because I used to have that humor inside me, but it slowly started to fade as I started getting depressed.  I hope I can get that back one day.

 

After class, another student came up to me & told me he really liked my project.  He said he could relate to it a lot.  My project was more depressing I think than most, just because that's the only thing I can relate to or feel like I have in me.  It felt nice to have some validation that my ideas aren't crap.  I know that I shouldn't rely on what other people's opinions are, but it still felt nice.

 

I'm having a really hard time just being in my body right now.  I feel uncomfortable in my own skin.  Sometimes I just wish I could understand everything about the body & how it works, but I think there's always going to be an unknown that just needs to be accepted.  I think the body starts to be on your side when you let it, instead of constantly fighting with it.  It's just hard sometimes.

 

When I got home today, I felt glad that my final for school was over, & I could take my time with my To Do List.  Then I got the mail & just started getting overwhelmed by bills & just stupid shit that the government makes you pay for.  I just wonder where all this money is going to come from.  And it's like, some of my bills are more outrageous just because I didn't pay them on time.  Then I got a ticket that I have to go to driving school for.  I just feel like caving in.  I keep trying to catch up with myself & it gets tiring & doubtful.

 

It's not necessarily the bills that are getting to me, but all of the action & organizing I have to place in my future.

 

My computer broke down today too, so I'm using a loner laptop for the week from my sister...but I really don't know what I'm going to do after this week.

 

I feel like crawling out of my skin right now.

 

Tomorrow I'm supposed to hang out with my sister for the first time in a few weeks.  I wonder if she'll see any differences in me.  My doctor says that she does, that I'm more motivated & less dependent on my sister.  Which I guess I am.

 

I'm in this mode of just wanting to sulk in sad music...I just feel kind of alone, but I think it's just something I need to feel.  I don't think it's something self-destructive.

 

I guess that's it.  Day 28.  wootWOOT

 

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You're Doing Great!

You're really doing great! Keep up the good work and we're all here to give you a big boost of support.